


Shifter

by floatingpetals



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Reader-Insert, Shifter Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-02-18 06:14:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13094130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatingpetals/pseuds/floatingpetals
Summary: Bucky wasn’t sure what to make of the newest recruit. What he thought was the new team pet was really a shifter in disguise. He learns she’s not afraid of much, whether it’s himself, or walking around all natural. Having the unique ability to change into several different kinds of animals makes her a bit more in tune to her animal instincts as well. Things are hardly ever dull anymore with her around.





	1. Ragdoll

Bucky sighed as his eyes slid close, collapsing on the couch in the living room. He let out a strangled tired groan when he nestled back into the cushion and threw his legs up on the coffee table with a clang. It had been the first time in over 72 hours that he was able to relax and literally put his feet up. A quick one-day mission turned into a long three-day stakeout. All he wanted to do was go to his room, shower and pass out. But Steve got to him first, told Bucky to meet him in the living room. Something about needing to tell him something.  Bucky didn’t know, he was still a bit fuzzy from exhaustion but stumbled his way into the room. He was so focused on collapsing on the couch, he completely missed the small bundle of fur that was curled up on the opposite side against the pillows.

The sudden dip in the couch caused the creature to jump, bright purple eyes snapping open to whip around to find the intrusion. Uncurling from it’s ball, the creature stretched out, kneading it’s paws into the cushion while letting out a toothy yawn. A silver and grey ragdoll sat, watching the strange new human with a calculative look and a flick of it’s fluffy tail. The fatigue on the man was glaringly obvious. He was practically limp in his seat, all his weight sprawled out on the couch. Something must have happened to him. Around his eyes, the cat noticed the dark circles and faint stress lines etched into his face. Giving him a slow blink, the cat crossed the distance between them, it’s curiosity peaked.

Bucky hadn’t noticed the eyes on him, his mind seconds away from shutting down but he did notice the soft brush of fur against his right arm and light weight that settled on his thigh. His eyes snapped open, turning to the sudden touch. He froze staring straight into the brilliant purple that almost appeared a touch worried. It blinked slowly, almost as if it understood his fatigue.

“When the hell did we get a cat?” He whispered, still not believing the fluffy regal animal perched at his side was there. The cat let out a soft chirp as it gracefully climbed on to his lap. “Wait, hold on.”

The cat ignored him, using his shoulders as a way to stand on its hind legs to be eye level with him. The cat chirped softly again before leaning in to gently headbutt his chin. Bucky stilled, stunned as the cat rubbed with a loud purr. He raised a hand, hesitating as he considered his options. He could push the cat away and go find Steve. Or maybe this was what it was he wanted to tell him. Wanda had mentioned she wouldn’t mind a pet around the tower. But Tony always nixed that idea. Something about the fur on his couches.

Torn, Bucky settled for simply returning the cats affections with a few awkward pats on its head. The cat didn’t seem to care from the noise of content, turning around to rub it’s head against his palm. He thought that was the extent of things, until the cat turned to his left side, eyeing the hand that laid limply by his side with a narrow gaze. It didn’t seem to appreciate it’s lack of participation one bit. It pushed off his shoulders and hopped across his lap to butt it’s head against the metal.

“Hey, no wait.” The cat cut his protests off with a loud indignant yowl before rubbing against his metal fingers again. Sighing, Bucky gave in with slight hesitation. He didn’t want to hurt the small animal, but it didn’t seem to care the touch was colder, inhuman compared to the rest of him. It just purred louder when he curled his metal fingers to scratch behind it’s ears. Bucky felt his heart melt at the soft mewl the cat gave, and how it leaned into his touch. A weight lifted off his chest, all the stress from the past week leaving him as a soothing calm settled in it’s place. His other hand reached to stroke along its back, and the cat preened under the attention. 

Giving in, Bucky scooped the cat up and hugged it to his chest. The cat made a soft noise of protest, but instantly relaxed with its head cradled under his head while Bucky scratched at its chin. A smile spread on his face, a bubble of happiness growing in his chest. He didn’t know where the cat came from nor did he care.

“I have no idea what you’re name is, but I think I love you.” He cooed, brushing his lips against the cats forehead. The cat meowed in response, snuggling further into his chest. Bucky sighed and relaxed back into the cushion, the cat still securely in his grip. He fell asleep with the cat curled up on his chest, the gently purr lulling him to a deep restful sleep. A soft shake woke him up.  

“Hey, Buck. You up?” Steve’s voice cut into his sleep, slowly bring him back to the present. Bucky blinked up, bleary eyed at Steve sitting on the coffee table, who had a strange look in baby blue eyes.

“Hey Steve. Sorry, what?” Bucky moved to sit up, but a heavier weight than a cat was tucked up into his side causing him to stop. He slowly turned to his left, gasping when seeing the small woman that was curled up gripping his left arm. A blanket was wrapped around her body, her shoulders rising with each breath. “Who-?”

“I see you’ve already met our newest recruit.” Steve snickered, keeping his voice low for the slumbering woman. Bucky however was a blushing, bewildered mess.

“Wait. But who- What? I don’t-.” He fumbled, too shocked and exhausted to find coherent words. Steve chuckled, shaking his head at the sight of his best friend.

“She’s a shifter, Buck. Let me guess, you met her as something else. An animal perhaps?”

“Cat.” Bucky responded, attempting to lift his arm away. The woman made a noise of protest and curled around his arm tighter with what would have been a bruising grip.

“Yep. Ragdoll, right? That’s one of her favorites. I will admit. This is the first time I’ve seen her warm up to someone so fast. Normally she’s a bit standoffish with strangers.” Steve smirked and raised a brow at Bucky. “What you do pal?”

“N-Nothing!” Bucky squeaked. “She was a cat, and she climbed in my lap and I- Oh god. She rubbed herself all over me. And I helped!”

Steve threw his head back, forgetting she was sleeping as he laughed loudly. Bucky shushed him, glaring up at Steve as his head swiveled back to the woman. Surprisingly, the woman didn’t wake, not even twitch.

“Yeah, she does that. Kind of loses it to the animal instinct a bit.” Steve stood with a shrug, still smirking at his friends predicament. “Well, I have a few other things I need to take care of, and you two seem quiet cozy right now. I’m gonna head out.“

“Wait! Steve!” Bucky whispered harshly, the tight grip on his arm keeping him from chasing after. “Get back here you punk!”

“You seem to be handling it, pal.” Steve threw over his shoulder. He paused at the door, a sly grin spreading across his face. “Oh and one more fun fact. Whenever shifters change, they can’t shift with their clothes on. So yeah, she’s naked under there. And she has zero shame about it. Have fun!”

Steve walked out with a snicker at the sight of red that covered Bucky’s face. Bucky was already plotting his revenge as he turned his attention back to the smaller woman beside him. A thousand ideas were running through his brain, but none of them helpful for an escape. He tired to shake her awake, but she slept like the dead. Nothing seemed to help loosen her grip either. She would just grip tighter, mumbling in her sleep with a frown tugging on her lips. Giving up, Bucky knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere anytime soon. All he could do was wait until she woke up.

Crap.


	2. Duckling

“You have a little friend.”

Bucky glanced over his shoulder, spotting the person Natasha smiling at. Peaking around the corner to the kitchen was the newest shifter recruit. He gave her a small grin and turned back to his eggs sitting in front of him. Y/N made a small squeak and ducked behind the door frame. Natasha didn’t stop her snicker.

“I think you scared her.”

“Nah, she’s just nervous around other people.” He stated, taking a bite from the eggs. Natasha gave him a confused tilt of her head before she looked back to the empty doorway. “She’ll come around eventually.”

Natasha shrugged and swung off the bar stool. He clearly knew Y/N better than he let off. She had seen the way Y/N followed him around. Hell, the whole tower was more than aware.

“Well, I hope she does sooner rather than later. I’d love to get to know the woman who makes you smile like that whenever she’s brought up.” Bucky froze, fork half way to his mouth. He looked over to Natasha, eyes wide. He did not smile whenever her name was mentioned. She smirked with an unsettling gleam in her eyes. “I’ll let you sit there in denial, Barnes. I’m going to find Clint.”

Turning at heel, she walked out the other door, leaving a dumbfounded Bucky behind. The sound of the chair beside him pulled him out of his stupor, Y/N settling in beside him. She snuck her arm under his and swiped the toast off his plate.

“Why do you tell her that I’m nervous? I’m not nervous.” She grumbled into the bread. Bucky snorted and grabbed his food back, elbowing her hands out of the way.

“Yes, you are. You stare.” He bit into the bread, scarfing it down before she could snatch it back. Y/N muttered unintelligibly under her breath and scooted her chair closer.

“She stares too.” Y/N settled her head on her shoulder, ignoring when he shifted uncertainly in his seat. He still wasn’t used to her open touches, finding it unnerving how at ease she was around him. “It’s not my fault she watches me like a hawk.”

“It’s only because you’re nervous. She wouldn’t bite.” He understands how hard it is to open up to strangers. He tries to sooth her fears whenever he has the chance, but Y/N can be as guarded as himself when it came to expressing her emotions. 

Y/N didn’t respond. He felt her lashes flutter against the bare skin of his shoulder and her arm slipped to link around his. Once again, he was torn. He wasn’t  uncomfortable with her affection, but he wasn’t used to it. Clearing his throat, he went back to eating his breakfast.

“How did training with Steve go this morning?

“Ugh.” Y/N groaned, rolling her eyes. “It went.”

“And?” He pressed, grinning into his fork. Y/N sat up and narrowed her eyes at his tone.

“You know what.” She pouted, settling back against his shoulder. “Apparently, shifting and then shifting back, is not a tactic that Steve appreciates.”

Bucky choked back a laugh, biting his lip at the memory of a red-faced Steve stomping into the kitchen. He barely formed a single coherent sentence, sputtering a jumbled mess of angry accusing words to Bucky before he stomped out of the room.

“Shut up!” She huffed, elbowing his side. Bucky couldn’t stop giggling. It was something he had talked with her about, just because she was okay with being in the nude didn’t mean everyone else was okay with it.

“I’m sorry doll, it’s just, I really wish I would have seen his face.” Bucky chortled, standing to take his plate to the skin. Y/N whined when he pulled away, standing to follow him as he left the room. He didn’t have to look over his shoulder to see if she was trailing behind. The past week, Y/N made it her mission to follow him around and talk as much as she could with him. Once again, throwing him for a loop with her lack of nerves around him.

“It was funny though.” Y/N giggled. “I just don’t get what the big deal is with you people and me shifting.”

“It’s not the shifting we have problems with. It’s the fact that you walk around naked afterwards. Most people don’t like that.” Bucky shot over his shoulder, rolling his eyes at her grumble.

“You non-shifters are so sensitive. I don’t get why you need to be so embarrassed, it’s how you were born into the world. Why be so touchy about it?”

Bucky stopped in the middle of the hall, his head falling back with an exasperated sigh. Y/N skidded to a halt before she could run into his chest, blinking up at him innocently. Being raised by shifters her entire life meant she was taught differently. It wasn’t something her people shied away from often. Sure, they wore clothes ninety percent of the time, but after a shift it wasn’t uncommon to walk around for a moment without the weight of fabric. Most of the time she was still jittery from the shift between forms, and the texture always made her skin crawl. She wasn’t ashamed of who she was.

“We’re not touchy. It’s just not normal for us.” He could see the wheels turning in her head, but saw it fizzled out.

“Nope. Still don’t get it.” Bucky groaned, and turned around to walk back down the hall.

“Look, just promise me you’ll stop walking around without clothes on. Especially when we have guests.”

“I don’t get it, but alright.” Y/N shrugged. Bucky knew that might be all he would get from her and continued with his tasks for the day.

Y/N followed behind, chatting away while she helped him with whatever he needed. He went to Tony to check up on his arm, and she sat beside them, shooting off questions about what did what. After almost getting tossed out by a rather irritated Tony, she wandered off to bother Bruce, who seemed surprised that she was willing to speak with him. Tony shot her a halfhearted glare before turning back to Bucky’s arm.

“She’s sure chatty.” He said dryly. Bucky chuckled and watched Y/N fondly as she babbled on about something to Bruce, while the doctor drew blood from her arm.

“Yeah, she’s not normally like this. It’s nice to see.”

Tony snorted, moving to grab another tool and flipped down a magnifying visor. “That’s because you’re here.”

“What?”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t figured it out yet, Frosty.” Tony griped, his eyes comically large behind the lens as he looked up at Bucky. “She’s only like this with you. Not even Steve nor I could ever get her to talk this much. But with you, there’s no off switch on her. It’s like she’s a little duckling that imprinted on you. Following you everywhere.”

Bucky considered his words, looking back over to Y/N who was smiling at whatever Banner was reading off his chart. She felt his gaze and chanced a glance over at his seat. The two locked eyes, and she couldn’t help but smile wider, flashing him her pearly whites. A self-conscious blush spread across his cheeks, and he had to turn away.

As Tony returned to fixing his arm, Bucky sat in stunned silence when realization settled in. It might have been only a week that she had been here, but she managed to wiggle her way right into life. She was a soothing presence to him now.  He noticed when she was gone from his side, a feeling of emptiness settling in his stomach whenever she would go off to train or even when they separated for the night. He missed having her there, talking away in his ear. She never irritated him, seeming to know when he needed silence, and gave it to him. She never left his side unless he asked. Bucky hadn’t realized how close they had become, hadn’t realized how ingrained she had become in his daily life. And what was more surprising, was that he was more than okay with it.

Sitting back, he grinned down at his open palm. He could get use to having her there beside him if it meant he wasn’t so alone.


	3. Caracal

“So, can you feel things with your arm?” The curious question pulled an amused sigh from the brunette on the other end of the couch. Bucky turned to the smaller woman, his personal shadow he somehow acquired over the past month, and raised a brow at her. She blinked up him with innocent doe eyes that always manage to tug at his heart strings.

“Yes, I can feel with my arm. Can’t you?” He smirked, wiggling his flesh fingers on the defenseless skin of her feet. Y/N squealed and tucked her feet protectively under her thighs, attempting to keep from breaking out into giggles.

“That’s not what I meant.” She whined. Bucky knew what she meant, but decided to skirt around the real topic of conversation. He wasn’t ready to open that door yet. Instead, he snickered and turned back to the television.

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him, more than aware of what he was doing. She had been working on getting him to open to her for the past few weeks. Something about him drew her in and she wanted to crack him open. Ever since she watched him collapse on the couch, she knew there was more to him than meets the eye. He had so much pain bottled inside him from his past, and Y/N wanted to help him find peace. She partly blamed it on her animal’s compassion, but she knew it was because he deserved happiness.

Giving up on prying for the moment, she huffed and shuffled back into the cushions, throwing her feet into his lap. Bucky didn’t even flinch, just lifted his hands from his lap to make room for her feet. When she didn’t settle, he dug a knuckle into her arch, grinning at the indignant squeal.

“Stop it!”

“Then stop moving.” He countered with a chuckle. Y/N grumbled, but stopped wiggling in fear of another attack on her sensitive feet. She hated that he figured out one of her weakness. “You can quit glaring at me, kitten.”

“I told you I don’t like that name.” She growled low, sounding dangerously close to her favored animal form. Bucky was pushing it.

“Right, sorry.  _Kitty._ ” He purred her loathed nickname with a sneer. She stilled in her seat, her muscles tightening under his arms. Bucky’s smirk grew, prepared for what was about to happen. Without warning, Y/N launched herself at him with playful growl, shifting in midair. He couldn’t stop from laughing when a small Caracal latched on to his face, small paws framing his face as she gnawed at his nose. He laughed loudly, a deep belly laugh, at her attempts at sounding fierce with her yowls. He gently took hold of her smaller body, cradling her close as she stopped her halfhearted attempts at taking his nose off to glare at him with her brilliant purple eyes.

“You’re right, doll. You’re not a kitten. You’re a fierce tiger. However, did I get it mixed up?” He wheezed, sitting back as he snuggled with the spitting kitten. She chattered in agreement, her tail flicking against his arm. Bucky giggled, and kissed the top of her head, tweaking the long black tufts on her ears he grew to love. Y/N countered with a swipe of her paw, but melted in to the cuddle. 

He cradled her close, running his fingers through her fur, every once and a while batting away her attempts to nip at his finger tips. Her back paws thumped against his arm, growling softly in response to being held like a stuffed animal. She didn’t mind though. If she did, she would have already twisted from his grip with ease. She didn’t, however, appreciate the occasional mock pained gasps he would let out after a particularly hard bite. It would send her into a panic that she had hurt him, but his cheeky smirk only proved he was fine. He just enjoyed teasing her. The jerk.

Eventually, the two settled into a comfortable silence, save for Y/N loud purrs from her position on his chest after giving up the false escape attempts. Bucky had grown use to her sounds of pleasure, he found he loved the soothing vibrations and her occasional chirps in his ear. His favorite was when she would knead against his chest, careful of her dangerous claws every time, despite Bucky telling her it was alright. He wasn’t made of glass. Y/N never wanted to hurt him. She also was delighted to know that he enjoyed their snuggling just as much as she did. It wasn’t uncommon to walk into a room and see them sprawled out on furniture, with Y/N in some form on his chest and the two passed out. Which is how Steve found the two of them an hour later.

Steve stood behind the couch, water bottle and bowl of popcorn in hand, looking down at them torn. He really wanted to watch his tv show, but at the same time, he didn’t want to wake the adorable couple. He didn’t miss the pile of clothes on the floor, no doubt Bucky pushed Y/N’s buttons causing her to shift to her current form. It was a daily occurrence with the two of them. Bucky pushed just enough, and Y/N retaliate with some form or another. Typically, it ended just like this.

Y/N’s little body had twisted upside down around Buck’s neck like a scarf. Her paws were up in the air at all angles twitching, while her little head was buried in the crook of Bucky’s neck. Bucky’s metal hand cradle her close, his other hand thrown over the arm of the couch. His metal fingers were laced in her fur, occasionally tightening in reassurance that Y/N was still there in his arms. Soft snores came from his parted lips, and Steve couldn’t help but feel a bit of jealous at the content expression his friends face. Y/N tore down barriers with ease that Steve struggled to climb, and Bucky was a noticeably strong person because of it. He wasn’t sure how she managed it and in such short time. He was grateful someone was able to help his friend in ways he couldn’t.

Pulling out his phone from his back pocket, Steve snapped a quick picture of the disgustingly cute displayed before him. Just because he was Captain America didn’t mean he wasn’t going to take a few blackmail photos for later use. He grinned at the screen before shooting them one last fond smile before he left the room as quietly as he entered. He could always watch his show later.


	4. Golden Retriever

Over the past few months, there were several things that Y/N learned. She couldn’t walk around without clothes anymore, something about it being rude. She learned that there is a such thing of personal space. She learned you shouldn’t touch any of Tony’s gadgets if you wanted to live. Steve had to watch his show at a certain time, and that he will sit on you if you don’t move. Natasha didn’t like people talking to her before her morning coffee, and Wanda was equally terrifying without her tea. Clint was passive aggressive to the maximum if you ate any of his ‘hidden cookie stash.’ And Sam was irritated by almost everything Bucky said, and hated it when you joined in with the teasing. More importantly, Y/N learned that Bucky had nightmares that left him practically inert.

When she was brought in, Y/N was given her own private comfortable room. Tucked away in a far corner, Y/N had two walls of windows that over looked the forest behind the compound, a breathtaking view in her opinion. The wall where her bed was placed to the right was the same as Bucky’s own wall. While each room was decently soundproof, nothing could stop the screams of agony from filtering through the walls. The first night it happened, Y/N was horrified. She had no idea what was happening, she had no idea if someone managed to sneak in to hurt Bucky. She had bolted out of her bed in a cold sweat and all but sprinted out of her room as she tied her robe close. Steve was just entering Bucky’s room when her door swung open.

“What’s going on?” her heart was pounding in her chest, and she felt her skin crawl as she struggled to contain her shift. “Is he okay?”

Steve exhaled a shuddering breath, shaking his head solemnly. Bucky’s screams and cries of mercy were louder with the door open, and Y/N felt her heart clench at the sound. A low whine past her lips and she moved to enter the room. Steve stopped her short with a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“It’s nightmares. And they get bad.” He spoke gently, casting a look over his shoulder to Bucky. She peered around Steve’s body, her face screwing at the sight of his twisting body. The sheet had warped around his legs, pinning him to the mattress. Soft moonlight filtered in through the crack in the curtains, casting just enough light to show the sheen of sweat on his bare chest.

“Steve, move.” Y/N demanded softly, flinch after another sob tore from Bucky’s lips.

“It’s okay.” Steve gently squeezed her shoulder, nudging her back to her room. “I’ve got this. Go back to bed.”

Y/N stumbled slightly after a particularly hard push, glaring at Steve. He gave her hard stare and turned his back to her to enter the room.

“I can help.”

He stopped at her firm tone. Steve shot her a glance, his brows drawn together. Y/N stepped back up to the door, her lips in a hard line.

“You know I can. I can help him.” Before Steve could argue, Y/N raised a hand to stop him. “Yes, I might be new, and I barely know Bucky. I also know you’re exhausted. I can help. You’re forgetting one of the reasons why I’m an Avenger. Bucky wouldn’t hurt me either.”

Steve was slightly confused, his mouth falling open to speak, but the words failed him. He knew her talent was different, however he was failing to understand what could she possibly mean.

“If you don’t believe me, wait here until you feel ready to leave. Promise you wouldn’t step in unless absolutely necessary.”

Another pained whimper caused the two to jerk, and Steve knew they had to try something different. He nodded and stepped aside, letting Y/N slip past. Taking careful steps, she rushed to the side of the bed. Her heart broke at the way Bucky was whimpering in his sleep, his head tossing from side to side as he begged whoever was tormenting him to stop. His hair clung to his face, sweat beading on his forehead as he thrashed violently. Y/N gently placed a hand on his shoulder, recoiling when Bucky flinched at her touch.

“Bucky.” She murmured, her voice trembling. She received no answer, not that she expected any. Sighing, she stepped back and looked over to see Steve leaning against Bucky’s dresser. “You might want to turn around.”

Y/N didn’t wait for a response, untying her robe and shifted before the light fabric touched the floor. Steve blinked, watching in surprise as a golden retriever climbed into the bed. There was no hesitation on her part, instantly nuzzling into Bucky side. She whined low, nudging his arm with her muzzle, forcing her head under the heavy metal. Shimming up his side, she nosed his cheek before licking the tears up as she whined softly.

Bucky felt something warm and heavy settle onto his side, his mind still blurry as he was slowly pulled from his nightmare. It was one of the worst yet, they always were after a mission. Typically, it ended with Steve shaking him awake, gently reminding him he was safe. Bucky never truly felt safe in those moment. However, this was a different feeling. A soft whimper echoed in his dreams, and a cool gentle touch against his cheek shocked him slightly. He groaned loudly, his arm tightening around the warmth on his left side, surprised by the texture. This wasn’t his pillow. Soft and silky, he unconsciously ran his finger through what he believed to be hair. The weight settled and anchored him, light enough that he didn’t feel restricted, but heavy enough to center him.

Steve watched in awe as Bucky woke, noticing his breathing was deeper, calmer than any other time he woke before. Bucky didn’t bolt up gasping for air, he didn’t instinctively grab at her neck or start screaming in terror. Warmth bubbled in Steve’s chest, and a small smile slipped on his face. He knew Bucky was in good hands, he didn’t need to stay around to wait and see the outcome. Slipping from the room, he closed the door behind him quietly and made his way back to his room.

Ignore Steve’s retreat, Y/N didn’t stop nudging at Bucky’s face and neck until she saw his eyes flutter open. She yipped happily when he groaned low, his free hand reached up to rub his temples. He glanced around the room to try and reorient himself, unfocused as he searched the room. For once, Bucky didn’t wake in a panic, wasn’t jostled awake from his nightmare. Instead, this time he was gradually woken by a tender touch.

Blearily, he looked down when he heard another whine, blinking in surprise at the worried purple eyes that watched his every move. Y/N stared up at him, blinking innocently up from her position tucked into his side, her ears flopping to the side with her tilt of her head. She shuffled forward, pressing her cold nose into his cheek and puffed air against his skin.

“Hey, now that’s cold.” Bucky giggled, his voice low and gravelly from his sleep. Y/N yipped and pressed her nose against him again. He shot her a half heart glare, gently swatting away her face with his free hand. He didn’t miss how he could almost make out a grin on her face, her purple eyes bright even in the dark room. He released an exasperated sigh and glanced around the room once again. His heart had slowed down enough that it no longer pounded in his ears, but he could still feel his hands shaking from his spike of adrenaline.

“I had another nightmare, didn’t I?” His voice caught in his throat, small and weak. Y/N whined low, pressing a paw against his chest. When he didn’t look back at her, she pressed down again, pushing hard.

Bucky tore his eyes from the wall, turning to Y/N. While she might not be able to talk,  her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She worried for him, she cared greatly wanting to be sure that he was okay. Bucky felt the tears beginning to creep forward, overwhelmed by how strong the emotions were behind her eyes. She cared so much for him, yet she hardly knew him. He didn’t want her to see how much she affect him, how easily it was to break him down. Bucky tugged her up his chest to bury his face into the golden fur of her neck, refusing to allow her to see his tears. He choked back a sob as his fingers carded through her silky fur.

Y/N wasn’t blind, she didn’t miss the sheen in his eyes, nor miss his stifled cries. But she knew how hard it was to let others see how broken they really were, especially with someone they hardly knew. Instead of focusing on his current struggle, she settled across his chest and buried her face into his neck with a content sigh.

Typically, after a nightmare, Bucky could never settle back into sleep. He would have to leave his room and somehow burn off all the negative energy. Sometimes he’d run until the sun began to rise, and even then, it wasn’t enough. As he laid there with the comforting weight of Y/N against his chest, he could feel his eyes growing heavy. There wasn’t any of the fright he usually had when he felt himself drifting off. He feared his nightmares, they were vivid, horrid memories of his past. However, even after knowing he woke from a nightmare not but a few minutes ago, he wasn’t frightened by the thought.

He listened to Y/N steady breathing, her chest rising and falling as she began to slip into unconsciousness. Bucky felt his own breathing follow her example, the rhythmic pace calming his anxiety. He kept running his finger through her fur, his metal fingers gently tugging out any knots he might come across. He held her tighter, willing all his negative energy to leave and enjoy the peace he felt radiate off the shifter woman he was cuddling with.

He didn’t remember falling asleep that night, and he didn’t notice how Y/N waited until she was certain he was once more settled into a peaceful sleep before she let herself rest. She didn’t leave Bucky’s side either, worried that he might slip back into a nightmare. Only once that night did she wake suddenly to a sign he might be in the start of one. She didn’t hesitate to nudge him with her nose, whining low until she felt him relax again. He didn’t wake, instead the crease that formed on his forehead gradually smoothed. Only when he began to snore again did she let herself slip back into sleep.

Since that first night, Y/N was always there to bring Bucky back from his nightmares. She had no qualms in racing over to his room late at night and snuggling into his side. Steve didn’t mind either. It meant he would get more sleep at night, more importantly, he noticed how her way of waking Bucky meant he was happier in the day. Bucky never woke in a panic again, he never woke feeling like he was still in his nightmare. At first, he was worried the Winter Soldier would appear, that she couldn’t control him. It had never become a problem though, and Bucky was incredibly grateful for Y/N’s willingness to help.  Over the weeks, it would get to point where he didn’t wake anymore either. Y/N would simply slip into his bed beside him, and just the weight of her golden retriever body was just enough to soothe the soldier. He would unconsciously grip her tightly to his side and let out a sigh of relief. In the morning, he would wake with her sprawled out around him in some fashion, and he couldn’t help the warmth that bubbled in his chest at the sight.

Y/N never complained, never voiced an issue with this arrangement.  If anyone ever asked her, she would just look at them in surprise, as if she couldn’t believe they’d be questioning her reasoning. She did what she did not just because she cared, but because it’s what Bucky needed. Until he told her to stop, she wasn’t going to give up on assuring Bucky he wasn’t alone. He would never have to fear sleeping at night, he’d never wake screaming again if she had anything to say about it.

Bucky never had admitted it out loud before, but without her, he’d never be where he was at now. He was more open, easier to get along with, and by far the most well rested he had been in years. She never asked what his dreams were about, yet he knew someday they would have to open that wound. He wasn’t ready yet, nonetheless he had no doubt that someday soon she would know all his deepest secrets. A thought that really didn’t ever bother him. He wasn’t sure how things were going to go after that fateful day on the couch, but he was glad she managed to slither her way into his life.


	5. Python

“Fuck. Off.”

“Make me,  _Barnes._ ”

Bucky let out a shuddering sigh, a growl bubbling in his chest. He clenched his jaw and glared at Sam over his shoulder. He all but slammed down his coffee mug on the kitchen counter as he turned back to the coffee pot. Sam’s eyes narrowed at Bucky’s dismissal.

“I asked you a question.” Sam bit out, leaning his elbows onto the bar top between them. Bucky’s shoulders tensing was the only indication that he heard Sam, but he continued making his cup of coffee. “Yo. Barnes. Answer the question.”

“Shut up!” Bucky snapped, spinning around to snarl in Sam’s face. His patience had run out, and he was getting sick of how rude Sam had been over the past week. Sam didn’t even flinch, his own rage bubbling in his chest as he stared down Bucky. Bucky’s chest heaved while he tried to keep from launching himself across the bar top and wrap his hands around Sam’s neck. He was seconds away from following through when Sam’s mouth popped opened. A throat cleared behind them.

“What is going on here?” Steve stood in the kitchens entrance with a worried Y/N by his side. Both were still in their training attire, towels in hand. Y/N looked between the two soldiers, chewing on her lower lip. The tension was heavy in the air, the negative energy practically electric. It made her skin itch uncomfortably.

Bucky growled and turned around to scoop up his mug. He didn’t offer any response to Steve as he quickly exited the room, however not before hissing a ‘fuck you’ to Sam. Y/N gasped at his harsh tone, and took off after him. Sam kept staring at the cabinets in front of him, ignoring Steve when he settled beside him on a bar stool. He could feel the disappointment radiating off Steve. He didn’t need to look to see Steve’s mouth pulled into a thin disapproving line.

“Just don’t.” Sam mumbled. Steve raised a brow.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.” Sam snapped. He walked around to grab his own coffee mug to fill, fuming as went about the kitchen. Steve watched as he drank it straight, his silence growing more oppressive as the seconds ticked on. It didn’t take long for Sam to snap under the mounting pressure.

“Alright, what?!”

Steve smirked and leaned against the counter, his blue eyes boring into Sam. He wasn’t going to be leaving the room anytime soon, not until Steve got exactly what he was looking for.

“You’ve been an absolute ass to Bucky this entire week. What is going on?” He started, motioning in the direction Bucky and Y/N retreated in. “And what was that all about?”

Sighing into his mug, Sam gave in. “I asked Bucky what Y/N was to him. Apparently, that rubbed him the wrong way, and we got the tantrum you just saw.”

“I don’t understand.” Steve was confused. Why would Bucky get upset over a simple question? “Why is he so upset?”

“That’s what I want to know.” Sam shrugged. “He’s been dodging the question all week, and I’m getting sick of it. It’s not hard. What is she to him? We all know their each other’s world. Hell, you can be blind, deaf and stupid and still see how much the two love each other. Just last week I overheard Y/N talking with Natasha and Wanda about him. She idolizes him. I also know how hard it is for Bucky to admit his feelings. And I don’t want Y/N to get hurt.”

Steve sat with a worried frown, his brain racing to piece together the puzzle. Sam wasn’t wrong. Everyone knew how much Bucky and Y/N cared for each other. They’ve been glued at the hip since day one, and wasn’t until a week ago that Bucky started to distance himself from Y/N. No one thought anything of it though, Natasha and Wanda swooped in to take up her time and it seemed completely natural. Bucky had always want Y/N to bond with the girls, and everyone figured that’s what was happening. Steve never thought there would be another motive.

“Hang on-.”

“Yup.” Sam nodded and interrupted Steve. He saw Steve’s wheels turning. “About a week ago, Bucky started pulling away. I want to know why. Instead, I get hissed at and told to go to hell.” He rolled his eyes and finished off his cup of coffee. “I just want to know what the hell happened.”

Sam set his cup in the sink before he stepped around the bar top. Realization had dawned on Steve, and now he was getting concerned too. If what Sam said was right, and he had no reason to doubt him, something happened a week ago to Bucky. He let out a long breath, pushing his seat back. He needed to go hunt him down himself, and get some of his own answers. Clapping a hand on Sam’s shoulder, Steve went down the hall Bucky disappeared down with Sam following close behind. Steve might not agree with Sam’s methods, but he knew he had good intentions.

It didn’t take them long to find Bucky, he had nestled himself into the loveseat in front of the TV, staring blankly at the screen. Steve paused, glancing around and frowned when he noticed the lack of another.

“Hey, Buck. Where’s Y/N?”

Bucky shrugged, his eyes never leaving the TV. Steve felt a grumble grow in his chest, and his fist clenching from frustration. Sam, however, had no qualms of stepping up.

“Where’s Y/N?” His demanding tone caused Bucky to tense, glaring at him out of the corner of his eye. Bucky grit his teeth and he clenched his fist, the rage returning with full force.

“Come on, pal. We’re just worried.” Steve tried to soothe, keeping the calm as best he could. Bucky snarled and jabbed a finger in Sam’s direction.

“I refuse to discuss anything with him!”

Steve was taken aback. Sam rolled his eyes at Bucky’s growl and looked back to Steve. He wasn’t really in a mood to deal with Bucky either, and if him leaving meant they’d get answers then so be it. Steve jerked his head to the door, signaling Sam to leave. Sam gave Bucky one final withering glare before retreating to his room, fuming as he walked to the elevators.

“Look, Buck. I know he comes off rude but he really does care.” Steve explained and moved to sit beside him on the couch. “All he wanted to know was what Y/N meant to you. He’s worried about her. He sees you pulling away, and doesn’t want to see either of you get hurt. So what’s going on?”

Bucky didn’t speak at first, his jaw clenching as he considered his options. He could get up and leave, but then Steve would only follow behind him and nag him until he spoke. Or he could just give in. Having decided on the former, Bucky quickly stood and strode out of the room. Steve’s head rolled back with an aggravated sigh, but just as Bucky predicted, he jumped up to follow.

“Bucky.” He scolded. Bucky ignored him and mashed the elevator button. Steve knew it was pointless to badger him with words, so instead he opted to standing close and staring him down with his disapproving scowl. The elevator ride was awkward and tense, Bucky slowly feeling the effect from the glare. He was strong though, at least that’s what he kept telling himself. He had to chant it in his head to keep from cracking, feeling Steve’s breath on the back of his neck. When they left the small box, Steve was a step behind. Silent and foreboding. Bucky didn’t let his discomfort show outwardly, nevertheless Steve saw past it. He was his best friend after all. He knew he was seconds away from winning, Bucky was starting to sweat. However, a loud squeal resounded through the halls.

Bucky and Steve paused, turning in the direction of the squeal. Another loud higher pitch scream got the two moving towards the door, stopping at the entrance of the room.

Sam had climbed up on top of his dresser and was kicking a leg towards his bed, all while screaming words of obscenities in its direction. His head whipped to the door when Steve stifled a laugh behind his hand. His eyes locked on to Bucky, who was looking rather amused to have caught Sam in such a predicament.

“Barnes! Come get you girl!” He hollered. A low hiss from under the bed caused him to jump, another unattractive squeal escaping Sam’s mouth. Bucky frowned, but didn’t move to enter the room. Steve was curious, and decided to see just what caused Sam to crawl up his dresser. Crouching low, he ducked to look under the bed and came face to face with rather amused amethyst eyes with thin black slits. A thin pink tongue flicked out of the reptile’s face and Y/N lifted her head to acknowledge Steve’s appearance. He chuckled low and turned back to Sam with a shit eating grin.

“This? This is what’s making you scream like a girl?”

“You weren’t there man! She was in my bed. I didn’t know ‘til she popped up from under the pillow and hissed at me! Fangs and all!” He squawked, shaking his dangling foot with irritation. Steve’s shoulders shook with laughter, looking over to Bucky. Bucky still stood in the doorway, a blank expression settling on his face as he stared at the bed.

“Buck. Wanna come get her out?” Bucky stayed silent, his eyes twitching as he thought for a excuse. Unable to find one right away, he simply decided to stay silent. Steve frowned, and peered over to Sam who had climbed off the dresser. He turned back to the bed and gently reached out to scoop up the smaller reptile. Y/N made no noise of protest, winding herself around Steve’s forearm giving him a better grip on her thin body.

Steve stood and turned to Bucky, cradling Y/N close to his chest. He took a step forward and extended the arm with the coiled snake to his friend.

“You wanna talk with her?” His question was innocent enough. Typically, Bucky would scoop her up and wander off while scolding her. This time, he did nothing of the sort. He stared at Steve’s arm for a moment, his eyes unblinking and almost looking past the bright hopeful purple eyes that stared up to him. Without a word, he turned and walked down the hall, leaving the three rooted in place, stunned.

Y/N unwound herself from his arm, her tail slipping from his fingers to brush against the floor. As she slowly slipped out of his loosened grip, she shifted. Neither of the men said anything when they saw her shoulders drop. Sam pulled out one his shirts and passed it to Y/N. Numbly, she shrugged the oversized cotton on. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the door, her heart tight in her chest.

“Doll?” Steve murmured, his fingers gently running down the skin on her arm. Slowly, she turned to face him, tears starting to form in her eyes.

“Steve. What-What did I do?” Steve fumbled for an answer, watching his friend break right in front him. Her upper lip began to quiver, the tears slipping free down her cheeks. Instantly, he reached out and pulled her to his front. He had no words, no excuse for Bucky’s sudden shift in behavior. All he could do was embrace her and let her sob into his chest.

“I don’t know, Y/N. Please don’t cry, it’s okay.” He tried to sound reassuring, but even to himself it sounded emp. Sam stepped up behind Y/N, his hand rubbing circles on her back. He gave Steve a look that said this was far from over. Bucky needed to be dealt with, but Y/N needed them first.

“I thought he was giving me space because Natasha and Wanda were complaining that he took up all my time. I told him it was okay, I didn’t have to spend time with them, but he insisted. And then this whole week he’s been avoiding me. I enter a room and he takes off. I don’t know what I did!” Y/N voice shook as another sob racked in her chest. Steve clenched his eyes shut, his own set of tears threatening to spill. He hated not having the right answer for her. “I went to follow him earlier and he told me he didn’t want to talk. I told him we didn’t have to, we could just sit and watch a movie. Instead he snapped at me and told me to leave him alone.”

Sam’s jaw clenched. It took everything in him to not run out of the room and deck Bucky in the face. Y/N’s continued sobs kept him in check.

“I thought maybe it would make him feel better if I pranked Sam. It has in the past. But I never thought he’d look at me like that.” Y/N shuttered at the memory of his stare. His beautiful blues were so lifeless and hollow. “It was like he had never seen me before. It’s like he wants nothing to do with me.”

“No that can’t be it.” Steve croaked, but stopped short at the shake of her head.

“What did I do, Steve?” She whimpered. “It’s been months, and he’s never had a problem before. Why? Why now? And why wouldn’t he talk to me?”

There have only been a few times in Steve’s life where he was at a loss for words, where he had no idea what to do or how to fix anything. Staring down at Y/N’s broken expression, her tears staining her cheeks as she struggled to breath was by far the worst time yet. He had no answer, not even the slightest clue. All he could do was wrap his arms around her tighter and let her cling to his shirt.

“What did I do wrong?”


	6. Panther

“Okay kid, put this on.”

Tony’s passed over a black suit to Y/N, frowning when he received no response. He looked up from his desk, letting out a huff when he spotted her staring off into space. She had been doing that a lot, over the past month. Ever since Bucky cut off all contact with her, she was a broken piece of her former self. The rest of the Avengers tried to keep up her spirits, but nothing they seemed to do appeared to help. Even with everyone threatening Bucky severe harm if he didn’t fix thing, he didn’t change his mind. Which left them this empty fragmented shell.

Tony sat back in his seat, waving the fabric in her face. Y/N blinked rabidly, pulling back from where ever she drifted to and gently took the fabric from Tony’s fingers.

“Sorry, T. What you say?” Tony’s heart clenched at her soft tone. She was no longer the innocent, carefree woman months ago. It broke his heart. He sighed and turned back to the tablet in front of him.

“Go put that on. I need to see if it works before you go off on your next mission.”

Y/N nodded and started to strip on the spot, freezing with her shirt half way up. She shot a worried glance to Tony, whose head was still buried in the tablet’s words.

“Go ahead. Nobody else really cares anymore.” Tony wasn’t wrong. Everyone had gotten used to seeing her walk around naked, despite their protests. She didn’t do it long, just long enough to find her clothes after her shift. It was easier now to simply ignore her instead of arguing. It had been almost a month since anyone had seen her shift, and a month since she wandered around to find clothes to slip on. To Tony, he was hoping this was a step forward for her. He was hopeful a push was all she needed. He kept his back to her until she signaled she was dressed, and he spun around in his seat to look her new suit over.

“Good, it fits like a glove.” He commented, nodding as he looked her up and down. Dark black, her suit was similar to Natasha’s own, the only different she wore no belt for weapons and had dark purple stripes along the arms and legs. His design had one zipper in the front, not made of metal, but some strange material that Y/N couldn’t help with playing with.

“What’s the point?” Y/N asked as Tony passed over her a set of black gloves and black boots. “I’ll just have to take it off shift.”

“Not this time.” Tony boasted, grinning widely when she was fully dressed. “This one’s one of kind, Tiger. Remember when you came in forever ago, and I almost threw that screwdriver at you so you went and bothered Bruce?” Y/N nodded, faintly smiling at the memory. Tony’s stomach flipped at the small gesture, it had been so long since they’d seen her smile. “Well, Bruce took some of your blood and we’ve been working on a prototype. You needed a suit that would protect you when you shifted. You can’t go into battle naked. I mean you could, but I think the shock would wear off them after a while. This new baby will not only add that bit of protection you need, but it should shift with you. So, when you shift back, you’ll still be fully clothed and not searching for cover in a pinch.” Tony sat back in his seat, grinning widely at Y/N. “Well, only one way to test it.”

Y/N hesitated, looking down at her hands. She didn’t want to shift, for once in her life she had no will to shift into her animals. She felt so broken and lost. Not even a shift would help her. But she needed to test the suit, she needed to move on. She was stronger than that. Or at least, she tried convincing herself she was. Giving in, Y/N let out a shaky sigh and shifted.

Tony’s heart swelled at her shift, his grin morphing into a full fledge smile. A small familiar ragdoll stared up at him for a spilt second, and with a flick of her tail, Y/N shifted back into her human self, suit and all.

“Good! It works. Now you’re all ready for your mission.” Tony beamed, turning to make a note on the tablet. “Let me know if there’s anything you notice that’s uncomfortable on you. I tried to figure the kinks out, but I couldn’t try it on, so I probably missed something.”

“Okay.” Y/N uttered, and Tony stopped at her weak tone. He turned back to her, his eyes looking her over before standing. He clapped his hands on her shoulders, gently squeezing as he leaned in.

“Hey, look at me.” He urged. Reluctantly, she looked up at him through her lashes. Once again, his heart broke at the sight of her defeated look. He tugged her into his chest, holding her tight. “I know it’s hard, he hurt you. He hurt you bad. But we’re all here for you, even when he isn’t. Please, we miss this fun loving, spitfire woman who use to dive bomb Steve and Sam in the kitchen. We miss seeing you spread out as a giant tiger, freaking out the agents when they’d come into the briefing room. We miss you.”

Y/N gripped the back of Tony’s shirt, tears threatening to spill once again. This past month had been incredibly hard for her. She didn’t know why or what caused Bucky to turn on her so suddenly. He cut her off completely overnight, no explanation given. His door was always locked tight, and she was forced to listen to his cries of agony at night as his nightmares grew worse. He stopped spending time in the same room as her, he completely reworked his schedule so that he’d never run into her again. On the off occasion she did come across him, he would stare at her blankly before walking out. She cried herself to sleep every night, exhausted and heartbroken as she fell asleep to his screams. Today was the first day she shifted, and it wasn’t as comforting as it once was. Now, she felt as if a chunk of her was missing and she truly was missing something vital.

“Hey, Tiger. Don’t cry. Not on my suit.” Tony joked, his own voice wavering as he tried to contain his own tears. “Alright. Natasha said she’d get your gear ready since you’re with me. Go on and get to the jet. You have to leave in ten.”

Tony directed her to the door, patting her back as he pushed her forward. Y/N giggled softly and sent him a nervous smile over her shoulder. She wasn’t ready for this mission, but they needed her. Or at least, that’s what Steve claimed. As she made her way to the hanger, she wrung her hands and chewed her lips, worried for the mission’s outcome. She didn’t mind going out on a mission, she was actually looking forward to it. Then Steve decided to add another to their three. Now instead of it being just her Steve and Natasha, Bucky had been added to the mix. Y/N had considered backing out, but neither Steve nor Natasha would let her. So, she was be stuck in a position she didn’t want to be in.

Climbing into the quintet, she smiled at Natasha in the pilot seat and buckled in her own. Steve walked in a short while later, with Bucky trailing behind. He didn’t spare her a glance. Choosing the furthest seat from her, Bucky buckled himself in and ignore the glares from Natasha and Steve. Y/N bit her lip, the tears starting to spring up once again. She wouldn’t let him see her tears, but she knew it was going to be hard to fight it off during the entire mission. Closing her eyes, Y/N settled in for the longest flight of her life.

* * *

Nothing was ever simple when it came to Steve and his missions. He said they just needed to get it, get the info and get out. Nowhere in the briefing did he ever tell them how many Hydra agents they’d end up dealing with. While Steve and Bucky ran in and grabbed what they came for, Natasha and Y/N were on a roof, shooting down as many of the agents as they could. Now Steve and Bucky were trying to get back to the jet, but found themselves stuck at the door’s entrance.

“When we get home, Cap, I’m going to kill you.” Natasha hissed into the ear piece, shooting another agent that got too close to Steve’s back. Steve only grunted in response as he threw his shield, taking out a row of agents. They weren’t a difficult group, just large in numbers and was overwhelming the soldiers. The two could only dodge the bullets for so long.

“Boys. I’ve got an opening for you to Steve’s left. Take it in three, two, one.” Natasha stated and quickly shot down the three agents in the way. The two soldiers turned and bolted the second the bodies fell. Steve shot Bucky one glance to insure he was following and took off into through the opening. Y/N watched them through the scope of her gun, following Steve first, and then searching for Bucky. He was only two steps behind, but it seemed an agent was a step ahead.

“No!” Her scream was too late, the damage was done. She watched in horror as a bulled shot through his right shoulder. His shout of pain echoed through the ear piece, Y/N heart stopping at the scream. Steve had only just begun to turn when Natasha let out her own cry.

“No! Y/N, wait!”

It was too late to stop her, she had already leapt from her post and shifted in the air. The Hydra agents advanced on the fallen soldier who lay unconscious, the blood beginning to pool around him. One raised his gun, ready to finish the kill, but was stopped short. A loud screeched echoed through the small battlefield, and the agents didn’t have time to react. Diving from the sky almost out of nowhere, a falcon latched on to the agent’s face, digging its talons into the man’s eyes. The man let out a hair-raising scream, flailing his arms as he attempts to knock the bird off. His gun fell beside him and the bird unlatched from his skull. The others watched in horror as the falcon shifted, a faint outline of a human body before it turned into a midnight black hissing panther.

It stood over the fallen soldier, snarling at the stunned Hydra agents. Purple flicked between the men’s wide eyes. No one dared to move for a moment, but one made a fatal mistake as he raised his gun. With a blood curdling roar, the panther leapt at the closest man and ripped into him like butter. None were given a chance to defend as the panther turned from agent to agent, ripping them open with fury.

Steve watched in horror as Y/N tore into the agents, her teeth and claws tearing easily into skins and bones. Never did he think she would ever give in to the blood lust so easily, but he really wasn’t surprised. She always said it was a possibility in some shifts, one reason why she wouldn’t shift into certain animals often. To see it up close and in detail, Steve knew this scene was going to be forever imprinted in his mind. He did however, quickly jumped into action, seeing the Hydra agents were regrouping in the distance. He wasn’t going to let his friend get hurt, no matter how far gone she was. Movement from him fallen friend caused him to paused. A mistake he’d find to regret.

Bucky groaned, his shoulder throbbing in pain from the bullet. His head was dizzy, and he could taste copper in the back of his mouth. He cursed under his breath, he knew it was stupid to not check his back. He just wanted to get out and didn’t think. A roar pulled him from his thoughts, screams of agony causing him to wince. He twisted his neck to face the sound, his breath catching in his throat at the sight in front of him. He looked past the mauled bodies that littered the floor, he ignored the sea of red and focused on the black panther that was on all fours in front of him. He didn’t have to see her eyes to know Y/N stood before him, her midnight black tail swishing side to side. He felt the strength of her frightening growl, the power vibrating his chest and buzzing in his head. She was staring down the remaining Hydra agents that now surrounded them, her stance devoid of fear. Strong muscles bunched under dark fur as she crouched low, and Bucky’s heart stopped.

Y/N pounced at an agent, a snarl ripping from her chest. There was a loud pop that was loudest off all, and time slowed. He saw the bullet enter her chest, blood splattering back in the air behind her, small droplets hitting his face. Y/N let out a yelp, her body knocked back on impact. He could hear Natasha screaming in his ear, could see Steve shield take out the agent that shot Y/N. But Bucky could only watch in shock as her limp body hit the concrete, bouncing twice before she slid to a stop in front of him. Her body shimmered, the beautiful shimmer her had grown to love so deeply, and Y/N human body laid before him. Bloodied and still.

Something in him snapped at the sight of her blood, the crimson triggering his anger and Bucky blacked out. All he could remember was his own scream of agony and his grip tightening on his guns. Instinct took over, years of forced training came to the front, and no one would stand a chance. Not after what they had done. They would all pay.


	7. Fennec Fox

The plan was to step away. He had to distance himself, to stop her behavior. At first, he had preened under her attention. He had been so affection starved, hadn’t been touched so gently in years he had become dependent on her. That was his first mistake. His second was letting himself fall in love. He didn’t even mean to, it was never a thought that crossed his mind. But the realization hit him like a freight train on day when they were cuddle up on the couch. Sam choose the movie, and decided a horror film was perfect for the evening. Everyone was bored with the over acting and fake blood, all except Y/N who found the entire film terrifying. She had curled up into his side, whimpering with each bloody attack on screen. She had buried her nose into his neck, shaking in his grip. After a particularly loud jump scene, she shrieked in fright and shifted on instinct. A small fennec fox curled up around his neck, head nestled against Bucky’s neck. Warmth had bubbled into his chest at her actions, a large smile spreading on his face. It took him once glance at the small shaking white fur for him to comprehend the feeling. He loved her. Hard.

Then it hovered over him like a heavy cloud that never cleared. It haunted him day and night, and he couldn’t face the truth. So, he had to cut her off. His heart ached every time he saw her, and he had to change his routine. He couldn’t live seeing her hurt, even though he knew it wall his fault. So, he lived with the guilt, and he had wondered if what he did was a smart choice. Now, his third mistake was letting her go. Bucky knew he messed up, and now he wasn’t sure he’d ever get the chance to fix his wrong.

The mission had go wrong, horribly wrong. He still couldn’t get the picture of Y/N’s still body lying in a pool of her blood out of his mind. The last thing he could remember ever saying to her was to stay out of his way before the mission. His stomach turned when he realized that he might never get the chance to see her smile at him again. Even after all the crap he put her through, the horrible things he had done to her, she still fought to protect him.

“Get out!” The shrill cry shook the walls of the waiting room. Bucky scrambled backwards, dodging a chair flung across the room expertly aimed at him. There was a reacting shout, and a scuffle to hold back Natasha from launching across the room to claw at the startled soldier. “Get out, you asshole!”

Bucky flashed a distressed look over to Steve. He wasn’t looking at Bucky. His jaw set as he watched Natasha struggle against Thor’s grip, teeth bared. When he did glance over to Bucky, his eyes were hard and unforgiving. He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. Bucky’s heart dropped when he realized he wasn’t going to get any help from his best friend. His gazed dropped to his feet, shame filling him. He really messed up.

“Leave! Now! You don’t deserve to be here!” Natasha hissed, her eyes narrowing. “Not after the shit you pulled!”

Bucky froze, the guilt building tenfold. He knew he didn’t deserve to be here, he wasn’t stupid. But he needed to know how she was. She was hurt protecting him.

“You’re right.”

Natasha stopped short, brows furrowing while she stopped struggling in Thor’s arm. The room grew quiet at Bucky’s soft admittance. Steve tried to appear indifferent, but he was failing as he watched his lifetime friend begin to shrink in on himself in front of them. Bucky took in a shuddering breath, struggling to keep his tears at bay. He was caving, losing himself to the pain and guilt of his actions.

“You’re right.” He started again. “I don’t deserve to be here, not after what I did to her. She did nothing to me, and I handled things completely wrong. Yet,” he paused, swallowing loudly. “She still protected me. After everything I did, she still put herself in danger. She got hurt because of me. And I can’t live with myself knowing she could die because of me.”

Thor’s fingers loosened on Natasha, the group watching in stunned silence as the tears Bucky struggled to keep inside came pouring out. He broke down in front of them, the heel of his hand rubbing into his eyes, sobs ripping through his chest. No one had ever seen him in this state before, he kept it so well guarded and deep inside him, it was like it never existed. He continued as best he could through the tears.

“I know I lost any right to worry. I know that she deserves better. I acted horribly. I’m not good at these emotions, I don’t know how to handle things. And I know handled it all wrong. I know I can’t demand to see her, but I have to know if she’ll make it. My life is not worth her own. I deserve to die. Not her.”

Wanda sniffled, her own tears welling up. She was one of the only ones who knew why Bucky pulled away. She tried to reason with him, but Bucky was steadfast. She felt his pain, knew that he was remorseful for his behavior. She also knew he believed what he said. He thought his life was nothing, and that Y/N should have let him die. She cast a look over to Natasha, who was torn. He had never been open with the others like this before, never openly wept in front of them. He must truly feel some type of remorse. However, she kept returning to the memory of Y/N the past month. The broken and empty shell of a woman that wondered around aimlessly. He hurt her. He didn’t deserve to be forgiven so easily. Right?

It took her only a moment to think of Y/N, to think how she would handle this entire situation, and Natasha knew she couldn’t lash out the way she wanted. Sighing, Natasha stepped forward and pulled Bucky into her arms. Bucky sobbed into her neck, giving into the weight of emotions. He couldn’t be strong anymore, he tried to for so long but now he couldn’t do it. Not without Y/N.

A throat cleared softly behind them. Dr. Cho stood in the entrance of O.R. a troubled look on her usually neutral expression. The team turned, several standing quickly at the doctor’s appearance, the worry returning tenfold. Bucky and Natasha pulled away, Bucky struggling to contain his tears. Wanda quickly stepped up.

“How is she?”

Dr. Cho sighed, the same troubled looked flashing in her eyes before she straightened her shoulders.

“I can’t say it’s good.” She began, pulling up her tablet with the charts. “She’s not recovering the way we need her to. She’s stable right now, but her body isn’t healing. I called her doctor from her hometown and he explained because of her genetic makeup as a shifter, she wouldn’t heal until she shifts back and forth. However, until she wakes up, that can’t happen.”

Tony motioned for the chart, which Dr. Cho reluctantly handed over. She gave him a hard stare but continued as he read on.

“He said she was incredibly lucky to have shifted back before she lost consciousness. If she hadn’t she would have died from blood loss. Her animals must have known. They saved her at the last minute.”

The room hushed, no one daring to breathe. Bucky’s heart skipped a beat at the thought if she hadn’t shifted back she would have died. He would have watched her pass on inches in front of him. Natasha watched his face turn ashen and she had only a second to catch him before he dropped. Steve pushed against the wall and rushed to his friend’s side, words of reassurance falling from his lips. She was alive, barely, but she was alive. The two helped Bucky move to a chair, and he ducked his head between his legs. Tony watched the three for a beat before turning back to Dr. Cho.

“What do you mean her animals?”

Dr. Cho shrugged and took the tablet back. She pulled up a file and passed it to Tony.

“I’m not exactly sure. Her doctor said it isn’t something he can give a summary of quickly. He explained that all shifters have an animal that are apart of them. Kind of like another voice inside their heads. Our Y/N is the exception, she can shift into any form she wants. Something about her family’s genetic makeup. I haven’t had a chance to fully read her files, but he said he would send them right away in hopes they could help some way. He did, however, make sure I knew that the animals were as much of a part of her as she was to them. They protect her just as she protects them. After she was shot, she blacked out. Her animals must have taken over and made sure she shifted back.”

“So why isn’t she waking up?” Natasha questioned as she turned from Bucky and slowly stood. 

“I asked him that too. While I’m not sure exactly how, he said she won’t wake because her animals won’t let her. They’re protecting her.” Dr. Cho paused for a moment, a slight crease forming in her brow. “He did however mention a way to calm them and let her come back.”

Bucky hadn’t noticed her silence, his ears buzzing and blood roaring in his head dulled everything around him. Her animals won’t let her wake, and it had to be all because of him. Before he could settle into his inner turmoil, Natasha poked his shoulder. She gave him a hard stare and jerked her chin over to Dr. Cho. Reluctantly, Bucky tilted his head up. Her face was almost unreadable to him, her guarded masked slipping into place. He blinked and glanced around, wringing his hands together.

“What?”

Slowly, Dr. Cho crossed the room to stand before him. She hesitated for a moment, knowing that things were rough between the two of them the past month. She could only hope he would find it in his heart to help Y/N.

“He said that she needs the one both her and her animals have given their heart to.”

A pin could be heard dropped and Bucky swore his heart stopped. All eyes fell on him, but he was too wrapped up in her words. Y/N had given her heart? To him? The same heart he took and stomped on. He really was a horrible person. Bucky buried his face in his hands and let took in a shuddering breath of air. He nodded into his palms and slowly stood. This was going to be hard, but he knew that he needed to help. Dr. Cho turned at heel and led him down the hall to Y/N room. She paused with her hand on the door, giving him a soft smile before gently opening the door.

Bucky’s heart stopped at the sight in front of him. Y/N was wrapped in bandages, broken and bruised, hooked up to machines. A tube was down her throat, and the steady beep of her heart monitor was the only other noise he heard as he rushed to her side. He pulled up a chair and sat as close beside her as he could.

Gingerly, he took her hand, his fingers shaking as he laced them with her cold, clammy ones. He brought her hand to his lips, pressing kisses along her knuckles. Bucky couldn’t block the image of her laying in front of him, bleeding out on the floor. Clenching his eyes shut, he tried to think on the positive. Y/N was alive and right in front of him. While he didn’t know what he needed to do to help her wake up, he was willing to sit beside her as long as she needed him there for. Pressing another kiss to her knuckle, he laid his head on her hip and closed his eyes. For now, he could only wait and hope she’d wake.


	8. Hawk

Natasha's eyes watched carefully, keeping track of every tick and flinch on both sleeping persons. Bucky hadn’t left Y/N side since Dr. Cho brought him in. He had pulled up a chair as close as possible, had taken hold of her hand hours ago, and hadn’t moved since. Natasha had decided to check when she heard nothing on Y/N’s condition in a few hours and walked in to see Bucky’s head resting on Y/N hip, snoring softly against the white blankets that covered her. It hit her that she hadn’t seen Bucky sleep this soundly since he began ignoring Y/N. His screams weren’t missed late at night, sometimes waking everyone around him. Natasha never considered he was hurting just as much as Y/N was. She had made a mistake of ignoring her friend’s well being before. Now Natasha knew there was more to the story, and he wasn’t going to away with his behavior anymore. 

Not only that, it hurt to see Y/N in such a state. The machines hooked up to her were keeping her stable, her body barely hanging on while she was in unconsciousness. Natasha had briefly talked to Cho before entering the room. She said the files sent from Y/N doctor explained quietly a lot about Y/N’s ability, a lot more than any of them knew about her. One of the big details Dr. Cho came across was how the animals protected the shifter host when they’ve suffered severe trauma. They don’t want them to feel pain and keep them from entering consciousness until the animals see fit they can heal. Unfortunately, in Y/N’s case, she can only heal when and after she’s shifted.

During a shift, Y/N physical body mutates into the animal. It wasn’t a magic either. Her bones would snap and twist, skin shifted from human to whatever animal she chose fit. Limbs would shorten or lengthen, and her muscles would reshape in an instant. All anyone would see was the quick shimmering flash as she shifted between her two forms. Because of the shift her body would reform and stitch up any wounds in the process, allowing for shifters to heal quickly. Depending on the injury, the shifter might have to shift several times to heal fully. However, if a shifter was unable to shift, their injury would take longer than normal to heal, sometimes never at all. Dr. Cho thought it to be strange, but she did know one thing. Y/N needed to come into consciousness to heal to shift.

If what Y/N’s doctor said was true, Bucky was the only who could help soothe her animal’s fear and allow her back. Their only problem; they hadn’t the faintest idea where to begin. Right now, she had no change in her condition while Bucky laid beside her, so it must be something more than just his presence that was needed. Nevertheless, Natasha knew that Bucky needed to sleep before he got to work. Quietly crossing the room, Natasha draped the comforter she brought with over Bucky’s shoulders. Giving the two of them one quick once-over, Natasha slipped out of the room as quietly as she entered.

Bucky was at a loss. He had no idea where to start with bringing Y/N back. He knew she needed to come back, Dr.Cho explained things to him when he woke the next morning. His heart hurt knowing that she was in such a state because of him. She stepped in to protect him, and in turn, was hurt. He had to help.

“Come on, baby.” He pleaded softly, his fingers tightening on her cold limp fingers. Gently, he pressed a kiss to her knuckles before continuing with his pleas. “I need you to come back to us. To me.”

A hesitant knock pulled Bucky’s attention away and to the door. Steve slowly walked in, two cups of coffee in hand. His eyes flickered over to Y/N, seeing her hooked up to the machined for the first time jarring. He had thought she looked fragile before, now she looked even worse. Handing the cup to Bucky he settled into the seat opposite of them and took a long drink from his own.

“How’s it going?”

Bucky gave an exasperated sigh and sat up, still clinging her hand tightly. He shook his head gloomily, gazing wistfully at her bandaged chest.

“She hasn’t changed since yesterday. Dr. Cho says it might take a while.” He paused to take a sip of the coffee, the warmth a temporary relief compared to the chilled room. “I’ve been trying to talk to her, to see if it helps. But I’ve got nothing.”

Steve was silent for a moment, thinking over his words carefully. Natasha had spoken to him briefly, told him everything she knew. While he wanted what was best for his best friend, he was still so angry at him for how he treated Y/N. Steve didn’t want to sit here and reassure him, he wanted him to feel the pain that she felt the past month. However, after seeing him break down in the middle of the waiting room, watching everything Bucky had been holding in for weeks come pouring out, Steve figured he felt as much pain as she did. Temporarily letting go of his anger, Steve sat forward with his elbows resting on his knees.

“Do you know of anything that might help?” Bucky shook his head. Steve reached up and took Y/N’s other hand, gently running his thumb along her knuckles. He was shocked at her cold skin. Frowning he looked around, spotting a comforter folded on the table beside the door. Bucky watched quietly as Steve crossed the room to grab the blanket and return to drape it over her body. The two quickly worked to tuck the blanket around her body in hopes to warm her.

“Well, hopefully, this will help. She always did hate being cold.” Steve chuckled, a faint smile spreading on his face. It was one of the many thing Y/N loved about being so close to Bucky. She claimed he was a walking furnace and never went cold when she was cuddled up beside him. She never said anything about missing his warmth the past month, but Steve knew she longed for it. An idea popped into his head at that thought.

“Hey, Buck. Why don’t you climb up on the bed?”

“W-What?” Bucky blinked, confused. Steve rolled his eyes and grabbed a corner of the blankets and pulled it back. Bucky made a noise of protest, having to let go of her hand to let Steve expose her to the cool air. He huffed in irritation and set his cup on the floor beside him. “Are you insane?”

“Are you insane?” Steve mimicked. Bucky’s mouth fell open at his best friend shift in attitude, stunned. Steve glared at him and motioned to Y/N. “Look, you and I have shit to deal with after all this is said and done. Right now, you need to climb in bed with the woman you love and talk to her and her animals. She needs to shift so she can heal. And then you’re going to grovel.” He said determinedly, pointing a finger firmly at Bucky who was frozen in his seat. “You’re going to grovel and kiss as much of her ass as you can because you have a lot to make up. You tore her down and broke her into a million pieces. No one could fix her.”

Bucky’s mouth popped open to argue, but Steve stopped him with a hand. He gave him a hard stare and continued.

“No, you don’t get to speak right now. What you did was horrible, Bucky. I know you’ve struggled a lot in the past with your emotions, but what you did was inexcusable.” He stopped and took in a shuddering breath, tears starting to form. “I don’t think you know the extent of the damage you’ve done to her. You weren’t there when she broke down. She spent a whole week locked up in her room. No one could get to her, no one could talk to her to snap her out of it. She was so broken that when she turned into a panther, that was her first shift since her week of lockup. She gave up being who she was because of you.”

Bucky felt the weight of his words settle on his chest. He knew what he did was awful, but he had no idea she was so hurt she didn’t shift.

“Do you want to know what I found when I managed to get the door open?” He paused, waiting until Bucky shook his head in response. “I found her up in a corner of a bookshelf. She had shifted into a hawk, flew up high and hid away from everything. It took me an hour just to talk her down from trying to take my finger off. It was almost another three before she shifted back. Do you know what happened when she did shift back? Nothing. She shifted back and she was empty. I’ve never seen her like that before, and it was heartbreaking. All because you decided you couldn’t handle your feelings and cut her off!”

Bucky flinched at Steve’s raise tone, casting his eyes to the floor. He bit his lower lip, his chin beginning to quiver at Steve’s explanation. As if he couldn’t feel any worse of the whole thing, Steve took the dagger and twisted it in his chest. He nodded, rubbing his eyes with the back of his palms.

“I know-.”

“No, I don’t think you do. Which is why I’m telling you now, Bucky. Because after she forgives you- which let’s face it, she will- she’ll never tell you this. So, I’m telling you. I’ll make sure you never forget what you did to her so you never do it again. Got it, pal?” Steve seethed. He had to stop and take a deep breath. He knew there was a time and place for his rage, and right now wasn’t the time. At Bucky’s wide eye nod, Steve jerked his chin to Y/N’s side. “Now climb in bed. Snuggle up, and start groveling.”

Bucky nodded quickly and kicked off his shoes before he settled into the open space next to her. He was careful of all the tubes and wires around her as he wrapped an arm around her waist. Steve placed the blanket over Bucky and grabbed his coffee cup.

“Good. Now the next time I come in here, she better be up.” Without another word, Steve turned at heel and walked from the room, gently shutting the door behind him. Bucky was left more than overwhelmed as his best friend retreated, but knew that what took place was something for a later date. For now, he needed to wake up Y/N. She had to come back.


	9. Wolf

“Hey, doll. If you’re in there please come back. I know you’re hurting, but if you come back you can feel so much better. I promise. But I need you to come back.”

She heard the words, faint and familiar, echoing through the void around her. It tried to reach in and bring her back, but each time she would search to find the sound, she was met with resistance. Her body was sore, she knew that much, and she was mentally so tired. Y/N couldn’t find the energy to fight the strange force, couldn’t muster up the strength to push back. Instead of fighting, she gave in and settled into the comfortable darkness. Whatever was holding her back relaxed, she could feel its sigh of relief as she settled. It wasn’t malicious, it just wanted her to rest. She knew that, could feel its pleas to sleep. So she did. Yet as she slipped back into darkness, she didn’t notice the entity keeping her there turn towards the familiar voice nor feel the simmering rage. 

Bucky’s brows furrowed. He thought he saw her twitch, could have sworn he caught her eyes moving under her lids. For a moment, he felt hope bubble in his chest. But then she stilled just as she had been for the last 36 hours. A quick glance at the heart monitor gave Bucky a small sense of relief; she was at least still alive. Barely.

Sighing, Bucky nestled in further under the covers, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. Dr. Cho had come in early that day and stopped short at Bucky nuzzled up against her sick patient. The doctor in her wanted to yell at him, to tell him he’d hurt her. But the friend of Y/N knew this might help. So she did her rounds of checks up and disappeared for several minutes. She returned with a pile of blankets and proceeded to tuck the two under, all while moving the wires and tubes around so that Bucky could comfortably lay beside her.

Y/N was finally warm, her skin no longer as ashen as before. Yet her breathing was still shallow, her heart rate slow. She showed little to no signs of waking. Bucky wasn’t going to give up. He needed her to come back to him, needed to fix what he had done wrong. He tried everything to wake her, whispering sweet words into her ear, coaxing her out of her slumber. He was in the middle of another set of reassuring whispers when Natasha made her way in the room.

She slipped in wordlessly, a bag of takeout in her hand and a drink her other. Buck glanced her way, acknowledging her with a sharp nod and a rumble from his stomach. Natasha bit back a grin, and almost broke at Bucky’s blush. He pressed a lingering kiss to Y/N’s temple before reluctantly untangling himself from her side. Natasha’s eyes never left Y/N’s face as she passed over the bag and drink to Bucky’s grabbing fingers.

“How’s she doing?”

Bucky paused, casting a defeated look over to Y/N. “She hasn’t changed. Which is good and bad. At one point I thought she was going to wake up. But then it’s like she receded back into her mind.”

Natasha nodded slowly, a vacant expression on her face as she though over the past 72 hours. Her eyes flickered over to Bucky, who was quietly inhaling his burger his own gaze never leaving Y/N’s features. Natasha considered her options for a moment before stepping beside Y/N bed. She attentively rested a hand on her ankle, squeezing lighting through the piles of blankets. She took a moment to gather her wit before she started to address Bucky.

“Steve might have already ripped into you. And I did say a bit of what I wanted to say, but don’t think you’re even remotely off the hook.” Her tone was firm. Bucky froze under her unwavering stare, swallowing slowly. “I’m sure you’ve heard this a thousand times, but I’m going to say it again. You really screwed up.”

Bucky hung his head, a sigh slipping past his lips. “Yeah I know, Nat. Trust me I know. I know I’m going to need to make up for everything I’ve done. I know have so much to fix. I don’t plan on ever leaving her side when she wakes up.” He hesitated, a distressed look passing over his face. “That is if she lets me back in. It’s all up to her. But I want to make it right. I need to make it right. Not for my ego, but because I messed up and tore her down.”

Natasha nodded along with his words, her stare hard as she listened carefully. He seemed to know exactly what to say to make her feel slightly better. If it wasn’t for her training, she might have second-guessed him. However, it was all there on his face, and in the tone of his voice. He meant every word, and from the looks of it, he was still beating himself up over what he did. Good. She thought. He needed to know and to remember what he had done.

A sound beside Natasha pulled the immediate attention to the bed. Y/N’s fingers gripped the sheets, tugging at the cotton harshly. Bucky threw his food on the bag and bolted beside her, letting out a sob of relief as he called out her name. As he gripped her hand, Natasha ran for the door, frantically yelling for Dr. Cho. A passing by nurse heard her call and quickly ran into the room while sending a message on her tablet to Dr. Cho.

“Oh thank God.” Bucky whimpered, his fingers brushing strands of her hair from Y/N’s eyes. Her brows furrowed, a strained noise from the back of her throat the only response Bucky received, unnerving him. “Hang on, doll. The nurse has to get the tube out. Can you hear me?”

Y/N nodded minutely, just enough that Natasha and Bucky let out a sigh of relief. She was back, weak but back to them. Bucky reluctantly stepped back, still gripping her hand in his. The nurse was quick to remove the tube, warning Y/N that she was going to cough as it left and was just a quick to pass a cup of water with a straw her way.

“Drink slowly, but this should help your throat.” The nurse reassured the panic they thought they saw flash on her features. But just as quick as it was there, the look was gone. Quietly, Y/N sucked down the liquid before passing the cup back into the nurses waiting hands. All while keeping her eyes tightly shut. Bucky frowned.

“Y/N? You’re eyes hurting you?”

He didn’t receive an answer before Dr. Cho came rushing into the room. At the sight of a Y/N without the tubes, she let out a sigh of relief and quickly composed herself.

“Y/N. Glad to see you awake.” She paused when she received no answer, but continued on. “I need to run a few tests on you, but I think it’s best if you shift and heal yourself as best you can, don’t you think?”

Y/N nodded slowly, her eyes fluttering open. She blinked rapidly from the bright lights but kept her eyes trained on Dr. Cho’s form at the foot of the bed. She was so busy flipping through the tablet in her hands, she missed the purple in place of Y/N’s normal hue.

“Okay, we’re going to remove the IVs and rest of the tubes, and you’ll be all set to shift.” Dr. Cho passed the tablet to Natasha, who quickly pulled up the latest chart for Y/N. Dr. Cho motioned for Bucky to move, and the two got to work.

The entire time, Y/N said nothing. Her face was blank as the pulled the needles from her body and removed the heart monitor tabs. She didn’t even flinch as they pulled the bandages off her chest, Dr. Cho knowing it would be pointless to keep in place during her shift. Bucky’s eyes homed in on the wound, bright red and bruised purple from where she landed. A nurse had just redressed it, but it still looked so fresh, it hadn’t healed in the slightest. Tears started to form again at the sight, the memory of seeing her shot burned into his memory forever. Natasha placed a hand on his forearm, squeezing in reassurance.

As Bucky gave Natasha a watery smile, the two missed the flash of purple as it locked on them, nor did they see the slight narrow of her eyes. Dr. Cho and the nurse were so engrossed in making sure Y/N was detached, they missed how she tensed under the expertise hands. Finally, the two were done and both stepped back with a smile. The nurse pulled the sheets back enough to show the tops of her legs and then began to loosen the gown from behind.

“Alright, whenever you’re ready.” Bucky’s eyes flicked back to Y/N’s face, his breath stopping at the sight of her hollow purple stare aimed directly at him. It was only a second, but he didn’t miss the look she gave him, couldn’t stop the shiver going down his spine. One moment, Y/N was there before him, the next she was the small rag doll he had loved so much. She flicked her tail and shifted back.

It took four shifts for the wound to heel, and each time the group watched in fascination as the red bullet wound shrank with each shift until there was nothing but fresh pink skin in its place. As if this horrendous thing had never occurred. Bucky laughed softly in relief, the tears returning to his eyes. He stepped up beside her bed, a warm smile on his face. In that moment, he wasn’t focused on what he did to her the past month, he was simply relieved to see her alive and well. He wasn’t focused on how she tensed as he moved to the edge of the bed, but Natasha did. She noticed the purple still in Y/N eyes, she saw her lip curl up in a growl.

Natasha had no time to warn Bucky, she barely caught on herself. With reflexes faster than any of their eyes could catch, Y/N had launched herself from the bed and shift in midair. Natasha shouted at Y/N to not hurt him, somewhere the nurse screamed and scrambled out of the room. A howl echoed in the room, chilling Natasha to the core.

Bucky was thrown back, the air knocked from his lungs as he landed on the cold linoleum of the hospital bed. He gasped for air, spots hindering his gaze from being stunned. He felt rather than heard, a vibration against his throat that shook his to his core. Something long and sharp was pressed against his throat, pinching the thin skin as it kept his head at a sharp angle. When the spots left him, he saw large paws framing his face, the fur a dark midnight black. Dread filled his stomach.

Bucky tried to tilt his head to get a better look but he was given another sharp warning growl and the pressure on his neck increased. The prick caused him to flinch, and he was given a harsher snarl in response. It didn’t take him long to figure out what form she had taken, it was always the one she claimed was the most protective of her.

Y/N was certainly not back in charge, but her wolf was. And from the feel of its teeth on his skin, it decided it wanted to teach Bucky a lesson.


	10. Wolf 2

Blood rushed through his veins, roaring in his eardrums while his heart pounded in his throat. The large sharp canines pressed against his jaws tighten and relaxed, the breath hot on his skin. Bucky winced with each pinch of the teeth, which in turn caused a low warning growl to vibrate against his neck. He sucked in air, and held as still as he could. He had no idea what her wolf might do to him, he’s never seen Y/N lose herself to her animals. She always had an iron grip when she shifted, never left more than a few characteristics shine through. It was always her in her shift. He knew this wasn’t Y/N, at least, not the Y/N he knew.

The wolf above him continued to growl deep in her throat, her bright purple eyes flashing dangerously down at the man under her. She kept her grip tight, her rage consuming her. This man was the reason for her host’s sadness. He caused this, he broke her after she gave everything to him. He rejected her. He was their-.

“Y/N.” A soft voice beside the wolf caused her to freeze, eyes flicking over her shoulder to the human that crept closer. The woman with red hair, someone the wolf knew as a friend of her host, slipped beside her. The wolf snarled at the hand out reached out to her fur, tensing instantly. Bucky hissed below her, a line of blood slipping down his neck from the bite.

“Nat.” He croaked. “Stop. Just don’t.”

Natasha hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip as she considered her options. She could try to talk the wolf down, hoping to calm the canine enough to release her death grip on Bucky’s neck. However, from the looks of it, the wolf had no interest in that option. It snarled again and let go long enough to snap at Natasha’s outstretched fingers. She gasped and yanked her hand back right as the wolf’s jaw closed on the air her fingers once were, stunned. She stumbled back when the wolf curled its lips, back hunching over and her hackles were standing on end. Natasha swallowed loudly, creeping back slowly on her heels. She wasn’t going to risk any more sudden aggravation from the wolf and harm to Bucky.

Bucky didn’t move as Y/N’s wolf turned her temporary attention towards Natasha. He knew while it’s attention was on another, it was still incredibly hyper-aware of his place under him. His breath caught when it turned it’s muzzle back on him, teeth flashing dangerously close to his face. The purple caught his baby blues, narrowing when they locked eyes. Quickly, Bucky averted his gaze and tilted his neck to expose more of his throat. It seemed to please the wolf enough, the growl lessening in it’s throat.

Nevertheless, Bucky knew he wasn’t out of the clear yet. The wolf was still towering over him, it’s hulking frame engulfing him. He waited until the hair began to relax on it’s back, and the teeth disappearing under the lip. Only then did he begin to speak softly to the wolf.

“I know you’re mad at me.” He began softly. “And you have every right to be.”

The wolf snarled and snapped it’s jaws at his chin. Bucky screwed his eyes shut at the sting, but continued on.

“Yeah, I deserved that.” He sighed softly. “I know you most likely aren’t going to listen to me, but I hope you do. I didn’t mean to hurt Y/N, at least I didn’t intend to. I’m not the best at dealing with my emotions, and in the end, I hurt her. In turn, I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

The wolf narrowed it’s eyes, but let out a soft chuff to signal him to continue. Bucky swallowed as best he could with the lump in his throat. So much had happened in the past few days, and it was still so fresh for him.

“There’s so much that I have to make up for, so much that I need to fix. But I can’t do that without Y/N here. Yes, you’re doing your job, you’re protecting her. She means so much to you, just like she means so much to me. I wasn’t there to protect her, but you were. You and the rest of her animals.”

The wolf began to relax further, stepping back away from his chest as it listened to his words. It didn’t catch any deceit in his words, felt there was no hidden intent with what he was saying. As angry as the wolf was, it knew it couldn’t stay angry for long. Not with him. Not their-.

“But please. I need to make it up to Y/N. I need her to know it was all my fault and that there was nothing she did wrong. You know that too, but I need her to know that.” His voice shook as he pleaded to the wolf above him, turning to lock eyes with the brilliant purple. “Please. Can you let Y/N back so I can apologize to her?”

The wolf let out a low growl, it’s lip curling back in annoyance. Bucky slowly raised a hand, with his neck chin still tilted back to expose his throat. Carefully, he reached out to run his fingers inside her fur, Bucky murmuring soft words of reassurance.

“It’s okay. I know, you’re upset. I know.” He cooed softly, slowly pushing up to lean on his hands. The wolf stepped further back, eyes flickering between Bucky’s eyes and his open palm. Thoughts were running through the wolf’s head, but it couldn’t shake off the soothing words of reassurance. It new who Bucky was to them all, could feel the pull he had towards them. It wanted to give in and let him in. To let Y/N have control once again. But fear of what he could do to Y/N if it did.

“It’s okay.” Bucky hummed, a small smile slipping on to his face. The wolf shifted uncertainly, but it could only hold back for long. Letting out a sigh, the wolf leaned into his soft touch, it’s eyes slipping closed as it gave into the comfort he was willing to give her. Bucky felt her relax into his touch, his heart soaring as he gave another sigh of a relief. He watched in awe as it’s eyes slid open, the purple flashing between the purple and Y/N’s usual hue. The purple returned, but Bucky knew it wasn’t the wolf any longer.

Y/N blinked rapidly, her head swimming as she was suddenly thrust back into consciousness. She remembers the darkness, it wasn’t something she ever experienced before and she might never forget. She knew she was safe, she wasn’t afraid there. Now she was thrown out of the comfort and couldn’t remember getting here. She frantically glanced around the room, seeing a relieved Natasha and Dr. Cho standing in the corner, watery smiles on their faces. A soft tug on her fur pulled her back to the man under her, her head whipping around to gape at Bucky.

“Hey, there gorgeous.” He croaked, leaning forward to press his head against hers. Y/N made a noise of distress but made no move to pull away. It had been so long since she had been touched by him since she heard his low voice so lovingly spoken to her. She was in shock, her heart hammering in her chest. What happened while she was out?

“I can hear your heartbeat, doll.” Bucky chuckled softly. “It’s okay. I’m here, and I’m not leaving you again. Not if you let me.” Y/N head jerked at his defeated tone, mind still reeling Bucky continued, a sob bubbling up his chest. “I have so much I have to apologize for. I’m so, so sorry Y/N. For everything. I screwed it all up. I screwed everything up because I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

Y/N breath caught at his sobs, her heart clenching. Bucky had moved to bury his head in her neck, his tears soaking her fur as he cried. He never stopped uttering his apologies, his entire body quaking against her large frame. He gripped her tightly, letting go everything he had been holding on inside, hoping that she wouldn’t push him away. He expected her to do just that. Yet when a pair of arms wrapped around him, he pulled back in surprise.

He stared up in awe as Y/N smiled down at him, her own watery smile mirroring his on her face. She had shifted back in his arms and was still kneeling comfortably above Bucky’s lap. She made no move to get up and didn’t have any plans to. Bucky was so engrossed on Y/N he didn’t hear the startled gasp from behind her, nor did he pay attention to the sheet that quickly wrapped around Y/N naked frame. He never looked away from her when Dr. Cho and Natasha slipped from the room, too lost in her eyes to notice anything but her.

Y/N couldn’t tearher gaze away either, her heart tight in her chest. Her last thought was regretting not fighting harder for Bucky. She knew he had his problems, but she gave up and didn’t fight back when he shut her out. That wasn’t like her. She always fought for what she wanted and believed in. But she gave in and let Bucky shut her out. Not only that, she crumpled in on herself and let herself wallow in her misery. She gave up on him by giving up on herself. Shaking her head, Y/N brought his head forward towards her lips. His breath caught at the gentle press against his temple, warmth spreading into his chest. He felt the tears drop from her cheeks, his eyes clenching shut and tightened his grip on her hips.

“Bucky?” She whispered against his temple. Bucky hummed, leaning forward into her touch. “Just hold me for now. We can talk later.”

Bucky wasn’t going to argue with her, he couldn’t. So he clung to her desperately, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulled her tightly to his chest. He nuzzled his face into her neck, taking in her smell he had missed so much. He didn’t know what was going to happen next. But he knew he was never going to make a mistake like he did again. Not again.


	11. Dolphin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sometimes don't post right away here, like I posted this part about two weeks ago. So if you ever want to know if I have another part done you can check out my tumblr page https://floatingpetals.tumblr.com/ to see! I'll try to make sure that I keep up with the stories here, but I sometimes forget. Enjoy1

“Alright, does everyone have everything they need?” Tony looked up over the top of his glasses, eyeing the team around him. Everyone made their noises of confirmation, some reaching in their bags just to double check. Clint cursed under his breath and sprinted to his room. Tony rolled his eyes, letting out a loud annoyed sigh.

“Okay. Everyone should have their passports and Steve has the tickets, right?” The group nodded. “Raise them in the air.” There was an answering groan from around the room, but they all did as asked. Clint appeared beside Natasha, sheepishly raising his own blue passport. Tony gave him a hard stare but turned around to head to the door. “Alright, let’s go people. Bora Bora isn’t going to wait forever.”

Tony stood at the door, waving everyone out one by one. His eyes lingered longest on Bucky as he moved beside Y/N, both his bag as well as her own in his grip. Bucky was trailing close behind her as they walked out the building, Wanda talking with Y/N about their trip. Y/N paused, glancing over her shoulder to ensure Bucky was right behind her and grinned up at the man. He returned her smile and picked up his pace. Tony watched on with torn emotions. The protective big brother part of him want to rip into Bucky, to tear him down like she was torn down, but the friend of both knew that he wouldn’t be helping anything by doing that. He already had put in his two cents in anyways two weeks ago.

Two long weeks had passed since Y/N was injured and woke. It was two long weeks of watching the two of them work through the pain Bucky had unintentionally inflicted on her. A sour taste cross in Tony’ mouth at that thought. It wasn’t completely unintentional, but again, he had no more room to argue with Y/N’s decision. Everyone watched on as she let Bucky back in her life. While it was a common occurrence to see the two of them together, there was still the lingering pain that clung to the two of them. Everyone could see it. The two were both afraid of pulling on that thread and tearing down everything they’d built up these two weeks. But Tony wasn’t blind, he saw how frayed the edges were. They needed to poke at the bear and wake it up. He needs to hear her scream at Bucky, just as much as Bucky knew he needed to be screamed at. For now, all Tony could do was offer a change of scenery. For all of them.

After everything that had happened, her injury and the meltdown of nearly everyone because of it, Tony decided it was best if they took a break. A well-deserved vacation for everyone. While he wasn’t sure the entire team was going to make it on the flight to the island he rented for the week, Tony knew once there they would spread out and relax like they needed. Hopefully, this forced both Y/N and Bucky to talk things out as well. He might have to pull a few strings to see that happen. For now, his main focus was getting them there in one piece.

* * *

Y/N swung the door open to her little hut, grinning widely at the beautiful interior of the room. She sprinted from the open door to the glass windows, squealing in delight at the breathtaking ocean view. She jumped excitedly on the balls of her feet, spinning around to face Bucky with a giggle. He hesitated in the door, a troubled expression crossing on his face as he noticed the expression of pure bliss on her face. He remembered when he used to be the reason for her smile. He shook his head, masking his distress with a crooked grin and stepped inside. Y/N giggled again and threw herself on the bed. She flopped on the mattress, another peal of laughter cause Bucky’s heart to stutter in his chest. It had been so long since he heard her laugh so freely like this. He carefully set her bags beside the dresser and stood, turning to face the open window.

“Oh my gosh, this is so nice.” Y/N sighed, rolling over on to her back. “I don’t think I ever want to leave.”

Bucky chuckled, opening the door to the porch. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, taking in a deep breath of the clean ocean air. It had been quite a while since he had gone to the beach and stood to listen to the waves. A sense of calm washed over him, his troubles a thing of the past as he listened to the ocean waves and distant call of the seagulls. Silence filled the room, neither finding the need to speak as they settled into the peace. However, the peace was quickly shattered.

The door to the bungalow swung open, crashing against the wall with a bang. Y/N let out a startled squeak, jumping up from the bed. Bucky spun around, his fist raised in defense. Tony stood at the door, hand on his hips in his bright red swim trunks with a towel flung over his shoulder. He smirked at the two of them through his ridiculous bright yellow framed sunglasses.

“Alight you two. Get your suits on. We’re going for a swim.” He snapped his fingers and spun at heel out the door. He left the two stunned, yelling something at Clint who shouted back sounding less than pleased. Bucky blinked, giving Y/N a funny look. She shrugged, jumping up from the bed.

“Better do as he says. I wouldn’t put it past him to come in and throw us in the ocean.” Bucky snorted. Sounded like something he would do, and happily. Bucky bent and grabbed his bags, leaving Y/N to change in peace.

“I’ll come and get you here in about ten.” He shut the door at her agreement and left to go change into his own swimsuit. He hadn’t the slightest idea what Tony had planned, but this might be an interesting vacation.

* * *

Y/N smiled fondly at the scene before her, sipping on the cocktail Bucky had fetched for her from the bar. She didn’t even have to ask, he just appeared by her side with her fruity concoction in hand. She resituated her legs underneath her and turned back to watch the soldiers in front of her. Steve and Bucky had started a friendly race with each other to see how quickly they could do laps up and down the coastline. Sam had rolled his eyes when they asked him to keep time, and he begrudgingly stood on the shore shouting times and who was winning. While the two had gone off do their own things, the rest floated around with their inner tubes or laid out somewhere on the sand. Tony had vanished a short time ago, muttering something under his breath as he went. His mood suddenly turned sour, but no one wanted to touch that with a ten-foot pole.

Wanda had settled beside Y/N on her stomach, flipping through a magazine with the occasional glance up to the shore. She giggled softly at the two soldiers who had started arguing about an illegal grab by Bucky.

“They’re both ridiculous.” She snickered. Y/N hummed in agreement, a grin spreading on her face when Steve tackled Bucky into the water with a splash. Sam threw his hands up in the air and waded off to throw the beach ball around with Peter and Pepper.

“It’s refreshing to see them let loose.” Y/N set her glass down, digging it in the sand to keep it upright. Wanda cast her a look that Y/N couldn’t quite place. She shifted in her seat and started to chew on her bottom lip. “What?”

Wanda took in a breath, considering her words. No one had really talked to her much about what happened, they didn’t want to broach the subject that was quite clearly still fresh. However, Wanda knew Y/N needed to face the music, as much as it might pain her to do so.

“Y/N. Have you and Bucky, you know… Talked?”

Y/N tensed, her lips pulling into a tight line. She shot Wanda a warning glare and sat straighter on the towel. She turned to face forward, her back ramrod straight.

“No. And that’s all I’m going to say about it.” She snapped, a growl bubbling low in her throat. Wanda sighed and pushed up on her hands to face Y/N, her mouth open to argue. “No. Wanda. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Wanda said nothing, her brow pinching together at Y/N’s tone. She wanted to argue she needed Y/N to discuss things. She spiraled into a deep depression, and then almost died protecting the same man she was depressed over. They needed to talk it over. She opened her mouth to begin again, but a squeal caught their attention.

“Guys, look!” Natasha stood on the shore, grinning widely like a child in a toy store as she pointed off the coast. “Come look!”

Eagerly, Y/N took the chance of a change of subject and jogged over to Natasha’s side. Wanda made a noise of protest but followed her friend through the sand. Natasha pointed to the horizon, giggling and bouncing on the balls of her feet. They had to squint but in the distance, they could see the dark grey spots leaping in the air, and growing larger as they swam closer. A smile broke on their faces, letting out their own laughs.

“Dolphins!”

Steve and Bucky turned at their squeals, heads spinning around to face the ocean. Clint floated past, squinting at the blue waters.

“Oh, look they’re getting closer.” The group of onlookers watched with rapt attention when the dolphins spotted the group. Y/N shifted in her place, twitching with excitement. Bucky caught her wild-eyed look, and couldn’t help the soft expression that crossed over his face. He knew that look, it had been so long since she had that look in her eyes. It was refreshing to see again.  

“You wanna jump in and join, don’t you?” He grinned. Y/N nodded, though seemed rather reluctant to jump in and shift. The last time she shifted was in the hospital room and she hadn’t really enjoyed the rush then. It had been so long that she wasn’t sure if she would really enjoy it, or even be able to control herself. Wanda nudged her side, jerking her chin in the direction of the pod. Y/N chewed her lip, only lingering on the idea for a moment longer.

She passed Wanda her sunglasses without a word and darted into the ocean. The group smiled fondly when Y/N dove into a wave, Bucky wading out to grab her suit after she shifted. A large grey shape swam around Bucky when he grabbed her suit top, a giggle erupting from him when the nose of the animal bumped into his side. Y/N’s head popped up from under the water, her bright purple eyes gleaming under the sun. She let out a sharp whistle and dove back down into the water, nose first. She swam off after the pod, her body cutting through the current easily.  

“I’ve never seen her interact with actual animals before,” Natasha commented. The dolphins seemed just as excited as Y/N was to greet her, they even followed her when she flipped her fins in the group’s direction at the shore.

“I don’t think I have either,” Bucky muttered, grinning when the youngest of the pod broke off to greet him. He gently ran a hand over the dolphin’s skin, gently tugging his fin when the pup tapped against his side to hard. The rest swam around the group curiously, occasionally popping up to whistle something or beg for a pet. Natasha and Wanda both giggled and carefully made their way into deeper water.

“I don’t think she’ll let them hurt us. Be careful just in case.” Bucky responded, another coming up to his side. He beamed when he noticed the familiar coloring. “Isn’t that right, doll?”

The dolphin’s head popped up, Y/N narrowing her eyes as best she could. It never ceased to amaze her his ability to pinpoint her exactly, even surrounded by others that looked the same as her. Bucky smirked and ducked down on to his knees, the water coming up to his shoulders. Y/N chirped and swam to nestle her head into the crook of his neck sighing softly, his hands holding tightly under her fins. He pushed off the sandbar and floated out with Y/N securely wrapped in his arms. While the two floated off, the rest couldn’t stop the smile that spread on each of their faces at the sight. It had been too long seeing them bond that way, wrapped up in each other’s arms, and they all hoped this wouldn’t be the last time for the two. Natasha nudged Clint’s side, motioning him to follow her to the beach.

“Let’s let them have their moment.” Steve nudged Wanda’s side and followed Natasha and Clint with Sam in tow. Wanda lingered for a second longer, her heart a little lighter than it was earlier. They still had quite a lot to talk about, however, she was going to let them have their time together. With a final glance over her shoulder, Wanda jogged to catch up with the others further up the beach.


	12. Puma

“Okay. So, I’m getting sick of this.”

Natasha glanced over at Tony, who had been chewing on a toothpick for the last half hour. His gaze was locked on the two in question, Y/N and Bucky lounging back on a couch in the main buildings living room. Natasha and Tony sat at the bar, nursing their hourly margarita while the rest of the team was spread out in the room. They had been here on the island for the past three days and so far, neither of the two had talked about a single thing. They all could tell, there was still a twinge of pain around them when things got too quiet. Tony didn’t miss how they’d constantly be doing things around each other, never stopping. When they did, it was uncomfortable awkward between them. And he was sick of it.

“Tony,” Natasha warned, seeing the wheels turn in his head. She lightly punched his shoulder when she got a glare in retaliation. He hissed and yanked his arm away.

“Don’t hit.” He snapped and returned to glare at Bucky and Y/N’s heads. “I am. I’m sick of it. They keep pretending everything’s okay when we know for sure that nothing okay. They haven’t talked through their crap and it’s messing with everyone else.”

“We’ve tried to get them to talk, but they wouldn’t budge.” Natasha huffed, leaning back in her seat. “Hell, we even had Vision try but Y/N looked at him like he grew two heads and walked off. Poor android didn’t even see that coming. We obviously can’t get them to talk, so we need to back off.”

Tony snorted and rolled his eyes. His jaw clenched, thoughts running through his brain as he formed a plan. He had to push them to start talking, and as juvenile, as the idea was, he had been sitting on this plan for a while. Knocking his drink back, he downed it in one gulp and swiftly stood. Natasha popped up from her seat, muttering an oath under her breath. She gripped his arm and tried to yank him back, but he was quick to bat her hand away.

“Tony-.” She hissed. He shushed her and stepped out of her line of reach.

“Okay, I think now’s a good time for a family bonding moment.” The group slowly turned to face him, everyone having the same mixed reactions. No one was ever ready for an idea from Tony. “Why don’t we play a game of Truth or Dare.”

The silence rang through the room was a reaction enough for Tony. He gave an aggravated sigh.

“It can be a drinking game.” There was a murmur of agreement in the room. Tony paused and pointed to Peter who blinked up at him innocently. “Except you. Aunt May would kill me.”

Tony spun around to the bar, a grin playing on the corner of his lips and ignored the disgruntled shout from Peter. Natasha slapped her palm to her face, but not honestly very surprised this was his master plan.

“Really?” She grumbled. Tony shrugged and grabbed a few bottles of liquor.

“Shut up. Don’t ruin this.” He nodded for her to follow him to the couches. He had a couple to force to talk.

* * *

So far, the night had been going rather well. Y/N was several drinks in, having had chosen to take a shot rather than give Vision a lap dance or confess who her childhood celebrity crush was. At one point towards the start, Peter admitted he wanted to cuddle with a puma and dared her to shift and let him for two turns. She was more than willing to let him live out a fantasy she knew he’d survive with her rather than go off to find a puma himself. Bucky grumbled under his breath, not liking that someone else would get to experience the cuddles he was gifted with, but let her do as she pleased. Now, she was just drunk enough that she could forget the tension between her and Bucky, but not so far gone that she couldn’t think coherent sentences. The team seemed to be getting into the game, asking more and more ridiculous questions as the night went on. She had cuddled up beside Bucky, who was sporting his own flushed face with an upturn to his lips.

“Okay Steve, I dare you to pole dance with an imaginary pole for one minute.” Steve’s eyes popped out of his head, whipping around to gape at Wanda. She giggled, sipping her drink and shrugged. The group erupted in cheers when he reluctantly stood, groaning out loud at how ridiculous the dare was. But he wasn’t raised to be a quitter.

“Oh god.” Y/N squealed, burring her face into Bucky’s chest. He roared with laughter when his friend started his ‘routine’, tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes. He ducked his head down to bury his face in Y/N’s hair, grinning into her hair. He couldn’t watch Steve’s failed attempts at being sexy. It wasn’t something he wanted to be etched in his memory forever. The timer set off and there as a collective cry of disappointment.

“Aw come on! Do another one!” Tony jeered, having just enough drinks to really lose his filter. Natasha had tried to keep him in check, but a big part of her wanted to see what he had in store. So far, the game really was innocent enough. If not a bit vulgar. Finally, though after a few more rounds, it was Tony’s turn to pick, and it seemed his patience had worn thin.

“Y/N” She answered with a stream of uncontrollable giggles, having had another drink in her system. Bucky was beaming down at her tucked into his side. Both missed the sly look that flashed across Tony’s face. “Truth or dare?”

Y/N hummed, tapping her chin for a moment. She had been playing it safe for the most part of the game. Why not try something different. “Dare.”

The sneer that spread on his face positively sinister. The air shifted in the room, the others noticing Tony’s drastic shift. They all exchanged looks, suddenly very nervous. All except Y/N who wasn’t focused on Tony’s grin.

“Alright. I dare you,” He smirked to Bucky, who frowned at the look. “to talk to Bucky about why he decided to shut you out.”

Instantly, Y/N felt the air leave her lungs and the alcohol lost all effect. She shot up, her mouth forming a tight line. Bucky tensed beside her, his eyes wide. Tony didn’t flinch, not even when her eyes flashed purple and a low warning growl passed from her lips. She clenched her fists on her knees.

“No,” Tony smirked at her response and tilted his head.

“Yes. This is a no option dare. You gotta do it.” Y/N snarled and stood up.

“No! This is none of your business. So, butt out!”

Tony jumped up from his seat as well, baring his own teeth as well. “Yes! You two need to talk about what happened! You can’t just shove it under a rug and forget it ever happened! So, you suck it up and get on with it! It’s affecting all of us!”

“Just fuck off Tony!” She spat, shocking the group. It wasn’t often she would curse, especially at Tony. “I’m tired of you people forcing yourselves into my relationships. If I wanted your help, I’d ask for it! But I don’t so like I said. Fuck. Off!”

She didn’t wait for a response and quickly turned heel to stomp out of the room. Tony moved to follow, but a hand stopped him. Bucky leveled him with a hard stare, a stare that he sent to everyone in the room.

“I think you’ve done enough.” He followed Y/N, his steps heavy as he walked. The door slammed behind him, causing everyone to flinch. No one dared to breathe for a moment, too stunned to fully process what just happened. Tony snarled and spun around to grab the bottle of whiskey. He took a swig straight from the bottle, thinking he failed once again. At least he thought he had.

~~

Bucky knocked on Y/N’s door, pushing it open after a few moments of no answer. The lights were off, and the drapes pushed back letting in the moonlight to the room. Y/N paced back and forth in front of the windows, having shifted to the puma from earlier in the night. Her eyes darted to the door when it creaked open, hissing softly when Bucky entered the room.

“Hey, doll. I know you don’t mean that.” He whispered in the silent room. She growled low but continued her pacing with a flick of her tail. He was right, she was just mad. Mad at Tony, mad at alcohol, but more importantly she was mad at herself. Tony was right, they needed to talk. They couldn’t force themselves back into what was after everything that happened. She snarled again, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.

Bucky watched her struggle, settling on the floor an arm’s length away. His heart was tightened in his chest at the sight of her, her pain causing him his own. He sighed and buried his head in his hands. She might not be able to start talking but he could.

“Listen doll. We need to talk. We can’t keep doing this.” Y/N made a noise of protest, stopping to sit on her haunches in front of him. He hummed and reached out the brush the back of his hand over her fur. “I’ll start first. I was an idiot. A giant idiot. I started realizing something, something I couldn’t handle and I pulled away. Well more like I cut you off completely. I’ve apologized before, but I’m going to keep doing it again and again. I’m so sorry. For everything. I did something horrible and I ruined what we had. I don’t know if we can ever have what we had, but I can hope we can work forward and hopefully get there again.”

Y/N chirped softly, nuzzling her head into his face. She hated seeing him like this. Letting out a sigh, she stood and walked over to the robe on the bed. Bucky stared out the window, chewing on his lip while he waited for her shift.

“You really hurt me Bucky” He turned around at her soft voice, frowning. “When you cut me off, you tore me down like I’ve never been torn down before. You destroyed all confidence I had.”

She wasn’t sure where it came from, the rage started to bubble up to the surface. It had been suppressed for so long and now it had reached its breaking point. She couldn’t stop if she wanted to. Like a bad car wreck she couldn’t turn away. Bucky shrank in his seat, waiting for the onslaught that was about to happen. He had been waiting for this for a long time.

“How could you do that Bucky? What excuse do you have that is good enough to just cut me off so easily?” She snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. “You gave up on us. You gave up on me, and didn’t even care enough to give me a reason why! I mean, where the hell do you get off?”

“I know-“

“No, you don’t know!” She snarled, cutting Bucky off.  “You don’t because you weren’t there! You have no idea what you did to me Bucky because you abandoned me! What the hell did I do to deserve that?! I did nothing to you!”

Y/N’s voice echoed in the room, Bucky flinching with each word she screamed at him. Tears were starting to build, and he could feel his heart hammering in his chest. But he wasn’t going to fight her, wasn’t going say anything. He deserved everything she threw at him and then some.

“I thought we were better friends than that!” Her voice wavered as she went, losing herself in the built up frustration. “I mean, I thought we were going down a path more than friendship. After all, you are my mate, but then you went off and pulled this shit! I just can’t believe you’d-“

“Wait.” Bucky’s head snapped up, his eyes wide. “What did you say?”

Y/N froze mid-pace, her eyes just as wide as his. She replayed her tangent and gasped in horror. She didn’t just do that, right? Slowly as to not startle her, Bucky pushed off the ground to stand, an unreadable expression on his face. Thay caused Y/N to struggle to breathe, her brain completely short-circuiting. She couldn’t believe she let that slip in her moment of anger. Now, Bucky really would pull away. He’d freak out like before and leave her alone again. She couldn’t handle that pain again.

She was so far in her head, she missed the look of pure happiness in his eyes. She missed the relief and hope that flickered behind his bright blues in the moonlight. Instead, she was busy looking for an out.

“Hey, Y/N.” He tried to reach out to touch her arm, but she drew away with a shake of her head.

“No. No, forget it.” She stammered, the tears slipping down her cheeks. “I- I can’t.”

Bucky called out for her to stop, but she had shoved past him and darted out the sliding glass doors. He chased after her but was too slow. She shifted to an owl, her robe fluttering to land on the deck before Bucky’s feet. He watched her body turn into a speck in the distance, his heart dropping to his stomach. She’d eventually come back and the thought was enough the keep him from stressing. The only problem, he didn’t know how long she would be gone. He could only hope it would be soon. Now he really needed to explain himself.  


	13. Doe

She never came back that night. Bucky waited all night in her room, waiting for her to come back, yet she never did. He fell asleep against, sitting now at the foot of her bed on the floor, watching the front door and sliding glass ones. When he woke the next morning, there were no signs of her entry. Buck’s heart was heavy when he left her room and went to his the next day, but the knowledge that she couldn’t stay away kept him from giving up completely.

He was kicking himself for not explaining further in detail, maybe then it would have ended differently. If only he had told her the real reason why he shut her out, maybe she wouldn’t have run. Bucky shook his head. He couldn’t focus on the what if any more, he needed to focus on the what now. Quickly changing into a set of fresh set of clothes, he left his room to head to the main building.

Natasha and Sam were both in the kitchen when he opened the door, the two glancing his way when he entered. Sam gave him a nod while Natasha gave him a small smile.

“Morning.” He greeted, mumbling low. Bucky walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. Natasha moved around him, pouring herself her own glass. Bucky watched absently mindedly as she put in two packets of sugar and a dash of creamer. She went back to the stove and flipped the omelet she was making once more before sliding it on to a plate. Bucky didn’t think anything of it as she piled the plate with diced pineapples and grabbed a fork. She uttered a quick goodbye, her eyes lingering on Bucky fuzzy expression for a second longer than usual, and the quickly headed out the door. Sam didn’t think anything was odd, but the coffee started to kick in, and Bucky was suddenly standing taller.

Natasha didn’t like that much sugar in her coffee nor did she like creamer. She liked almond milk. She also wasn’t a fan of pineapples. Pushing off of the counter, Bucky bolted after Natasha, a grin spreading across his face. She knew what time he was up in the morning, and waited purposely for him to come in. It was all for a reason, she was a master assassin and everything she did was perfectly plan. Sam made a loud noise of protest as Bucky ran from the room, glaring over his shoulder at his retreating back.

Bucky ran down the wood walkways, ignoring Steve’s protests when he passed by. He didn’t stop until he reached Natasha’s hut and knocked on the door rapidly. He bounced on the balls of his feet, listening intently to the shuffle behind the door. Natasha swung the door open, a brow raised at the sight of his anxious bounce. She almost couldn’t contain the smile from his mounting frustration.

“Well good morning, Barnes.” She smirked. Bucky frowned, glancing around the room through the door. He caught sight of the plate and coffee on the desk, both empty. He didn’t miss the sound of the shower on the other end of the room either. “What can I-.”

Bucky ignored Natasha and pushed past her, heading straight to the bathroom. Natasha didn’t make any move to stop him, a grin spreading across her face. She stepped out of her hut and shut the door, leaving Bucky and Y/N to their own devices. She was tired of the two of the ping-ponging back and forth. From the look on Bucky’s face, so was he. She’d check back on them later and give the two of them time to talk.

Nothing was going to stop Bucky, not even the locked door between them. He didn’t hesitate to rip it off the hinges, Tony would bitch about it later when he got the bill, but Bucky didn’t care. The sound was quick and sharp but muffled by the shower. He crossed the short distance to the frosted glass door, his eyes catching her frame behind the glass. She had her back to him, hands running through her hair to wash out the shampoo. His ears caught her soft humming completely unaware of his presence. His heart felt lighter being closer to her, something in him soothing just seeing her. He knew he wasn’t in the clear just yet, but just being in the same room as her was already soothing him. He took in a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling before yanking open the glass door.

Y/N jumped at the sound behind her, whipping around with a gasp. She squealed at the sight of Bucky in front of her, his blues locked firmly on hers.

“Bucky! What the hell?!” she cried, reaching for a soap bottle. Bucky batted away the hurled object, stepping into the large shower. She made another noise of protest, stumbling backward against the wall. He said nothing as he continued forward, his jaw set. He didn’t even flinch as he walked under the stream of hot water, his clothes soaking in the water. “What are you doing in here?! Get out!”

He ignored her hiss and stopped inches from her. His eyes never left her own as he cornered her against the shower wall. Y/N shrank into the wall, looking anywhere but him, looking for an escape. But he had her cornered and wasn’t going to let her slip past him this time. After several tense moments, he eventually sighed and leaned forward, his fingers brushing against her skin. She shivered and pulled away, almost breaking Bucky’s heart. He did this to her. Now he needed to make it right.

“You never let me finish.” He said softly, afraid that if he spoke any louder he might scare her away. Shen flinched at his voice, turning to stare at him with wide eyes. “You left before I could even respond.”

Confused, Y/N frowned, her brows furrowing in the cute way that always managed to stop his breathing. Gently, he rubbed the crease between her brows with a smile. She trembled under his touch, terrified of whatever he was going to say. It had haunted her all evening and now he was here to back up her fears.

“I may have left out a few crucial details before you ran off.” He chuckled sadly. “When I said I realized something important, I didn’t tell you the whole truth. You know I’ve struggled for so long to admit to my feelings, and I have something I need to admit to you. Because you need to know.” He paused and glanced around the shower stall. A slow amused grin spread across his face, finding the entire situation a bit lucrative. “I had imagined a lot of scenarios in my head about coming clean to you about this, but not once did I ever imagine I would admit it.”

He looked back at her, his throat tightening at her shrinking frame. He took in a deep breath, calming his nerves. He reached up and pushed her wet hair from her face, his eyes softening in hopes to calm her. Y/N bit her lip, crossing her arms over her chest, a movement Bucky didn’t miss. She never cared about her nudity before, and while he did force himself in on her during a rather private moment, it really showed him how hurt she was. But he needed to corner her to talk to her, she’d run just like she did last time. They both were bad at this he figured, talking about their feelings. It was now or never, to stop this game of cat and mouse.

“I love you.” He spoke with finality. He might not know what was going to happen now, but he knew one thing and he hoped she understood. He loved her. Y/N froze, her eyes widening in shock.

“What?”

“I love you.”

It was like a weight had lifted off his shoulders, a sense of freedom overwhelming him. Y/N stared up at him in surprise, her mouth falling open wide. Bucky hesitated, a hand hovering just above her neck. When she didn’t move away, he cupped the back of her head and leaned forward to press his forehead against his own. The skin contact calmed him and gave him ever more confidence then he had before.

“I love you. So much that I couldn’t handle it and I ran.” His voice broke at the memory but swallowed the lump in his throat. “I am such an idiot for doing that and I can’t apologize enough for it. While it will never make up for what I did, I need you to know that I do. I love you, so goddamn much. I didn’t think I’d ever say it to you, let alone in a shower stall, but I love you. And while I don’t know what a mate might imply, I think I have an idea.”

Y/N floundered for a response, her mouth open and closed in shock. Was he really saying this to her, now in all places? She should feel elated, over the moon about his confession. But right now, she just wanted to put on clothes for once in her life and think long and hard about this. Bucky saw the hesitation, saw how her eyes darkened in hesitancy. He sighed and stepped back, turning off the shower that had gone cold before reaching out the stall to grab her a towel. He blushed lightly as he offered her the fluffy white towel, which Y/N quickly grabbed from his fingers. She avoided his eye contact, her chin tucked low. Bucky sighed and stepped back, his shoulders dropping.

“I’ll uh, give you some time to think.” He uttered sadly. “I’ll be outside waiting, whenever you’re ready to talk.” He paused at the broken door, glancing over his shoulder. She hadn’t moved, her eyes darting away when she saw him looking her way. “I do mean it though, Y/N. I love you, and I’m not running. Not anymore.”

As best he could, he covered the doorway to let her have a semblance of privacy. Y/N let out a shuddering breath, her back sliding down the wall till she crumbled on the floor. She gripped her head and gasped for air. There was no way this was happening, it had to be a dream. Some twisted, deranged dream. There’s no way this could be true. She pushed off the ground and stumbled over to the counter, turning on the tap. With shaky hands, she wiped down the foggy mirror. Staring into her own eyes, she asked had to ask the question.

She had wanted this for so long, she had tried to trample her feelings for months because she knew he didn’t need that pressure in his life yet. So, she kept it to herself and just settled for being close to his side until he was ready. It would happen eventually, she wasn’t lying when she said they were mates. They were destined to be together, even if it took time. She just hadn’t expected him to figure out his own feelings so soon or pull away from her the way he had. Now he was here, trying to make up for his wrong. The past few weeks had been wonderful having him back by her side.

She shook her head. No, it wasn’t the same. She knew that they both knew that. The underlying tension was clear. But now everything was out in the open. He knew her secrets and she knew his. Was she willing to work on this, to be with her mate like she longs for so long?

Staring into the foggy mirror, she could barely make out her features. But the flash of purple from her eyes was response enough. Her animals answered for her. Sucking in air, she tightened the towel and splashed some cool water on her face. Giving herself one last glance in the mirror, she turned and headed to the door. She was done running. Now it was time to face the music.


	14. Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this is the final chapter of this series! I'm not sure where to go after this, and honestly, I'm pretty happy with this ending. However, if something comes to me later, I might add on to it. For now, this is the last chapter. Enjoy!

A soft chime rang in the quiet room, startling Bucky from his trance. He dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone, making a face at the sender. His phone rang again, his time from another. Sighing, he unlocked his phone and opened the messages. Another chime pulled a frustrated grunt from him, groaning at the names. Steve, Natasha, and Sam both had sent him a picture simultaneously. They were probably no doubt all together, trying to figure out what was going on in Natasha’s room. A fourth chime wasn’t surprising to him, nor was seeing Tony’s name pop up along with another image. Chewing on his bottom lip, he opened the first message with a bit of anxiety. Why was everyone sending him things all at once? 

The image caught him off guard, his frustration melting at the dimly light screen in his palm. He couldn’t stop the smile growing on his face, his heart swelling in his chest at the memory. It was one of the many afternoons where he and Y/N ended up sprawled out on the couch out in the living room, Y/N shifted as a caracal wrapped around his neck like a scarf with her feet in the air. Quickly opening Natasha’s next, he let out a fond chuckle. It was of Y/N and him beside the pool, Y/N as a sea otter flipping in the water. He was watching her with a blissful grin on his face as she swam around the pool. He opened Sam and blinked back tears at the sight of them tangled in bed sheets, Y/N was shifted into her beautiful golden with her nose buried into his neck. His metal arm was wrapped around her canine body, his mouth opened slightly in his sleep. He missed having her there by his side at night, he looked so calm in the picture. He couldn’t sleep anymore without her. The nightmares were worse than ever before.

Sniffling, Bucky opened Tony’s uncertain what to expect. It was a picture of the two of them from behind, both sitting on the stools at the bar. Y/N was leaning against his side, her arm linked through his with her head resting on his shoulder. The light from the windows shone on their fronts giving the image a halo effect around the two of them. He felt his breath stop at the sight, the memory of what once was causing his heart to catch in his chest. The tears started to form again, and he had to look away. This entire thing was all his fault, he could have had more memories, but he decided to be a coward and run. He ran and now could only hope she was willing to let him back in.

The door creaking open pulled his thoughts back into the room. He glanced up from his phone in time to see Y/N struggled with the broken door, muttering under her breath at his extreme behavior. She still had the towel wrapped tightly around her body, and he didn’t miss how she glanced around the room.

“Hey.” He greeted softly. Y/N’s eyes flickered over to him and Bucky continued. “I found some of Nat’s pants and top and put them on the dresser.”

Y/N nodded, muttering her thanks before she bolted to the pile and into the nearby closet. Bucky sighed and pulled his attention back to his phone at another chime. Steve sent him another image of the two of them laying on a bench in the library, Bucky’s back propped up against the armrest. Both were asleep against the window in the afternoon sun and Y/N was shifted into her favored ragdoll. She was tucked underneath his chin, securely set in place by his crossed arms. Bucky didn’t know why everyone was sending him these images, and while he was slightly creeped out the group made a habit of taking pictures of the two of them in intimate poses, he was happy they did. He missed everything about their relationship.

“What are you looking at?” Bucky jumped at her soft voice, his head snapping up to see her a few short feet away. He blinked in surprise, eyes darting to the open closet and back to her. He didn’t even hear her move, he was so focused on the photos. Y/N couldn’t help but crack a smile at his confused look, almost reminding her of a lost puppy. He sat taller on the bed, his phone gripped tightly in his hand.

“Oh, uh.” He started, glancing back at the black screen. Quietly unlocking it, he passed the phone over, watching her expression as she looked at the picture. Her eyes widen in surprise, a soft smile spreading across her own face. She moved to sit beside him on the bed, her eyes never leaving the phone. “Steve sent me that. There are more if you’d like… to see I mean.”

Y/N nodded eagerly, passing the phone back to Bucky. He opened the others letting her look at each with the same fond smile he had earlier. He couldn’t keep his eyes away from her, watching her every move as she looked each over them with loving care. She looked up, her eyes misting much like he had. She sucked in air at the look in his eyes, her heart hammering in her chest at his gentle expression. He didn’t look away, didn’t hesitate to stare back with all the emotions he had been holding back for so long. He wasn’t going to hold back, not anymore.

“What- when did they take these?” She whispered softly, unable to tear her face away. Bucky shrugged, his eyes darting down to her lips as she bit her lower lip.

“Does it matter?” He uttered softly, his body unconsciously leaning in, taking in her smell and memorizing every line and freckle he could see on her face. He never took the chance to before, and now that she was here so close beside him, he wasn’t going to miss the opportunity. Y/N sucked in air, feeling his warm breath against her face. This wasn’t the first time they had been this close to each other, but it was the first time either of them was aware of their feelings, knew there was something more between them than before. The tug was growing stronger between the two of them and even though she had been fighting it for so long, having Bucky reciprocate the same feeling was making it so much harder for her. Y/N had to pull away, she couldn’t give in just yet. They still needed to talk

Swiftly, she jumped up from the bed and held onto herself tightly, to try and ground herself. Bucky bit back a groan of disappointment, brows furrowing in concern at her retreat.

“Bucky. We need to talk about this, about everything.” She stated and began her pacing. “Everything has to be put out on the table, we can’t keep any secrets not anymore. They’re clearly things we can’t handle.” She chuckled dryly. Bucky let out his own breathy chuckle and gently reached forwards to catch hold of her hands. She stopped short, nibbling on her lower lip.

“You’re right.” He said gently, squeezing her fingers lightly. “I said it before and I’ll keep saying it. I love you. So much that it scared the shit out of me. And I ran. I hurt you so much because of my insecurities. When you were shot because of me, I thought my life was over. You didn’t deserve to get shot, you shouldn’t have. The only thing I could think of besides you needing to wake up so you could heal was that I should have been the one to been shot.” Bucky’s voice cracked at the memory. Y/N’s mouth popped open, but he quickly shook his head at her before continuing. “I thought pulling away from you was better, for the both of us. But when I saw you laying in that bed, hooked to the machines that were keeping you alive, I realized how wrong I was. I should have been the one in the bed. You never should have been hurt because of me. In more ways than one.”

Y/N held back her tears, stepping forward, pulling a hand from his grip to run her fingers through his hair. Bucky crooned, closing his eyes at the familiar touch. He sucked in a shuddering breath, blinking away the growing tears before continuing.

“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, not for what I did to you. But if you can find it in yourself to at least take a step in that direction, I promise to never hurt you like I did, ever again. I’ll work every day to remind you how important you are, to treat you the way you deserved to be treated. I’ll make sure you never forget how much you mean to me, or how much I love you.”

Bucky tightened his grip on her fingers, afraid she would pull away from him. He was terrified she would take the chance to run, to leave him behind. Especially after his stink in the bathroom. Y/N, however, never stopped running her fingers through his hair, listening to him intently. His voice wavered at the end, she could feel the weight of his words, knew he was sincere about everything he said. Sighing, she did pull back, settling beside him on the bed before he could worry. She took a deep breath, opening and closing her mouth several times before taking in another deep breath. Bucky watched with a hint of amusement on his face, a smile slowly curling on his lips. She huffed at his grin, swatting at his chest before starting.

“Okay. First, we must clear the air. Yes, what you did was horrible. Absolutely ‘ripped my heart out, destroyed any confidence I had’ horrible. But,” She hesitated, staring intently at her cuticles. “I can understand to a point why you did it. You were scared, and you didn’t know how to handle everything coming at you. I’m sure I wasn’t helping much with my overbearing personality.” Bucky began to argue, but Y/N stopped him with a wave.

“No, please. I know I was. I’m not as oblivious as everyone thinks I am about it. And I had my own selfish reasons for it. I’ve already kind of hinted at why, and I guess I need to come clean about it.” She paused and frowned. “No, I know I need to.” Turning her face up from her hands, she looked at Bucky with her own determination. “You’re my mate, Bucky. It took me a little while to realize it, but you’re it for me.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed, turning his body to fully face her. He kind of had an idea what that meant, but he hoped she would elaborate more. From the look on her face, she intended to.

“My animals picked you, they think you’re someone who I could spend the rest of my life with and someone who would protect me. To me, you’re my soulmate. No one else can ever fill that void. When you left me,” Y/N had to take a deep shuddering breath, her eyes misting at the memory. Bucky’s thumb brushed against her cheek, gently catching the tears before they could fall. He leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers, patiently waiting for her to collect herself. “When you left me, you took a part of me with you. You ripped out my heart and I had no way of going back. I felt so empty and lost without you by my side. I know we weren’t actually together, but being beside you, that’s all I needed then. I would have waited until you were ready. And if you never were, then I was fine just being your friend.”

Bucky began to press kisses against her forehead and her cheeks, brushing away her tears with his lips as his own tears started to fall. Y/N continued, even though it felt like her throat was closing in on itself and her eyes burned behind her eyelids. She had to finish, he deserved to know.

“I love you too, Bucky. So much that I lost myself and my animals. I’ve never not shifted before. I had no drive, no will to keep going. And I’m not saying this to make you feel like you owe me more, but you have to know. When you left, I was ready to give up. When I watched you get shot, I did act on instinct. But I also acted without thought because if you died, then I would never survive. I figured if it was one of us that was going to get killed, it should at least have been me.”

Bucky’s heart stopped, his eyes flying open in shock. He made a noise of distress and scooped her up into his arms, settling her securely in his lap. He held her tightly to his chest, holding back his own tears while she cried out her own.

“Doll.” He croaked through her hair, inhaling deeply. He didn’t even know where to begin, he was still stunned. He knew he messed up, he heard it from everyone for weeks. To hear it straight from her mouth was like a dagger plunging into his heart. Her tears were the twist to the knife.

“No, I know. I shouldn’t have thought like that, but I had nothing else. My only concern was making sure you were safe. I don’t regret doing it either. And neither do my animals. They care about you so much, honestly, I think they preferred you over me.” Y/N giggled into his neck, his own laugh gently shaking her frame. “And I know this going to be hard, there’s going to be a lot of trust we’ll have to build back up, but of course I’ll forgive you.”

Gently, she pulled back from her spot tucked under his neck. Bucky sniffed, rubbing the back of his thumb on her cheeks and stared into her eyes. When she returned the stare, a smile broke on his face. He wasn’t even expecting to hold her again, let alone ever hear those words come out of her mouth. He tugged her back into his chest, hugging her tightly.

“Of course. I promise I wouldn’t ever hurt you again. I know we have so much to rebuild, and I hope one day we can go back to once was. I wouldn’t ever hurt you or your animals again. Thank you.” He breathed into her hair, pressing kisses to her temple as he uttered more of his thanks. Y/N giggled loudly as he fell backward onto the bed with her draped over his chest.

“I really want to frame those pictures.” Y/N spoke, interlocking her fingers with Bucky’s. Bucky hummed in agreement, bringing the back of her hand to press a kiss against her skin. They didn’t say anything else as a comfortable silence settled between them, all the tension was gone from before. They no longer felt the need to keep themselves busy, neither needed to do something at all times to forget. Yes, it was going to be hard, but if mean they were going to be by each other’s side, then they would deal with it together.  


End file.
